In your mind

Un

My eyelids lifted and i could see the pale orange sunlight , announcing that it's been about two or three hours since dawn. I don't even know why i bother with my ancient alarm by my nightstand.

My wooden floor creaked as i placed my feet on top of them and forced it to hold my weight. and creak by creak , i decided to do something different today. I was going to escape. I had a plan.

I reached the bathroom , chasing away the sleep from my eyes and got dressed. I had already prepared my bags , tents and all my tools and left them downstairs yesterday.

I had lived in that town long enough to make me insane. In fact , this whole world had made me insane. It's time to start from zero. To start from the place where it all began.

I passed the hallway , glancing at all my memories for the last time. I felt the emptiness already pinching my cardiac cells, reminding me that perhaps there is still hope.

But that was false hope , it's the end. Their power is much stronger than me.

It's the whole world against me.

I shouldn't be thinking right now , i should be like everybody else but apparently dna always manages to make a surprising entry in our calculations.

I am immune and to be honest, it feels more like a curse to be one.

If it was up to me , i'd have chosen to be like everybody else. Powerless .. brainless .. controlled

They're looking harder now , the amount of ' guards ' increased to the double and i had to escape.

I have always lived in a quiet town near the woods , all my life. I had a good family and i loved them.

All hell broke loose when i turned fifteen.

People got weird , my parents left the house and never returned. i went to investigate and funny thing that i wasn't discovered as confused as i was in that state , they were still testing the waters then , too busy to notice the stray sheep.

I left the house without permission for the first time in my life , i had always been a good daughter after all. But oh , how i long to ask for permissions again , hear my mom say no again.

That first time , turned into many afterwards , but the first time is always the hardest In everything . it was the hardest when i had to watch the gathering of everyone in town , all still as statues and all i could hear was a variety of sounds. Screams , murmuring , whispering , ..

I spotted my parents at the very center of the gathering. But i knew it was no use. I was too scared to move any further.

And now i had to mimic their actions and leave but not to a gathering.

I was going to consider my self a civilian of the forest, to where life started. Making it my new home. That house i was in stopped being my home for four and a half years.
I couldn't bear it anymore.

When i opened the front door and smelled the fresh air of autumn , i started to consider hunting later in the afternoon. I stopped going to stores and generally any place where i could get food over a month ago. They were placing the guards and scanners everywhere , i couldn't pass them. They were filtering the town for me , killing me slowly.

I took my gear and took out a map i'd stolen from my grand dad's house and started walking to my 'headquarters', where i'll form my plan.

I had taken a cabin in the middle of the woods as my own and from there , my plan will grow. Take the revenge. For my parents , for me , for the town , for the world ..

I was going to disappear forever so they will never know how or why i was immune.

i was the only immune enemy of the disease the controllers spread, eating out the cells in our skulls.

I've tried looking for others like me , but even if there were , it'd be a huge risk to initiate and expose myself.

And i know nothing about them or how the controllers do it , let alone knowing their identities.

The smell of the leaves invaded my respiratory tract , filling me like a balloon. It was as beautiful as always. The only pure place that remained through it all. Untouched.

The leaves crunched and the tree roots were tricky and suddenly i was reminded of her. Leaving an emotion as sharp as a knife. My dog. Tricky , she was an amazing husky , friendly and soft.

She had left with my parents too. And i never got to understand why she left me alone.

I did wait for her too , for years. Even to this very moment , i had a tingle of hope that may be i'll see her coming waving her snowy tail and tongue stretched. But it was too late.

I was so used to loneliness and acting now , i hadn't said a word for a year and a half.
I used to sing myself to sleep before then, never letting go of what reminds me of my freedom but that was gone now. Now, there is a new purpose.

My cabin finally came to view after hours of walking, ankles crying and knees cursing with sound of the bag's fabric scratching against my clothes. the rest of my instruments there, or originally dad's instruments, have been previously put.

He was a physician, such a waste what happened to him. He used to tell me about the components of my young human body as if reading a fairytale.
He and i were close. Very close.

The cabin door was weak and wooden creaking and yelling with the softest of touches , and so as i looked at the wooden floor getting angrier with each step i took and as my eyes absorbed the rich brown colour , i kind of felt the happy warmth spreading in my thorax.
Wood , nature and all sorts of poems.

i'd have to adapt through winter soon. And so i had the blankets and nails to tell me the tales and read me some of his poems.

The view inside the cabin was okayish if not a bit primitive.

There was a small mattress , a few clothes , my dad's instruments and other basic tools. I had put my personal stuff and there were about 8 buckets filled with water from the stream nearby.