48 𝐡𝐨𝐮𝐫𝐬 ; byler

S. 5

SILENCE. IT SEEMED LIKE the silence has been stretching forever.

Mike didn't really know what to say. He didn't know what to think, what to feel. 

Max and Jane, Max and Jane, Max and Jane... the words kept repeating themselves in his brain, not making anymore sense than they had the first time. He tried to make sense of it:

He was dating Jane. Jane had been cheating on him with Max for a few months. She was cheating on his with A GIRL. Still didn't make sense. 

"are you... mad?" Will asked cautiously.

was he? was he mad, or sad, or hurt? he couldn't be sure. He just felt kind of... fine, but also not fine at all if that made any sense. 
"I don't know," Mike said truthfully, " I don't know what I am."

"Well, I know it's not worth much, but I'm sorry. I should've told you earlier." Mike looked at Will, and he seemed honestly guilty. Mike wanted to laugh. How in heavens did Will find a way to feel responsible? why would he be sorry?
"Don't be stupid, it's not your fault." Will smiled a small smile at him, but Mike didn't think he could return it at the moment.

"Listen, I need some time alone, okay? I'm really sorry," He said as he got up. He couldn't concentrate on anything with Will so close.
"Of course! I'll find you later," Will smiled another smile at him, and this time Mike managed to return it. His heart filled with warmth towards the brunette, and he kind of regretted his decision to leave Will. But he had to sort things out.

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Mike must've wondered the halls for at least an hour. the walking seemed to ease his thoughts a little, so when he got to the gym he was just a little bit out of his initial shock. 

Would the end of his relationship with Jane mean he didn't have to be popular anymore? with a wave of strong disappointment, he realized it wouldn't. He was too far in, and also he was too scared. As much as he hated his life, he was too scared to go back. After he got a taste of the popularity, how could he go back to being picked on or even worse- being invisible again?

Why was high school so complicated? why couldn't he be content with playing D & D with Will and some friends anymore? why did he everything, but also be scared of everything going back to the way it used to be?

He grabbed a basketball from the ones lying in a mess on the floor, started dribbling with it aimlessly. He wanted to forget, and the best thing to do that was tire himself out physically. 

he started running, throwing the ball into the basket again and again and again. But his thoughts didn't stop:

Now the shock was definitely gone, and he realized he wasn't  upset about the fact that he didn't have Jane anymore. He was upset to find out he's been cheated on, he was sad that the person he trusted for three years had betrayed him, but he wasn't sad that he didn't have a relationship anymore. 

It's not like he thought he's spend the rest of his life with Jane. If he was being honest with himself, he could see Jane and Max together perfectly. They were a good match, much better than him and her ever were. 

But for some reason, that fact made him more upset. Why did Jane get to find someone to be with, why did she get everything, why did he have to be left alone because of her?

He started throwing the ball into the basket. As his anger rose, his throws became more aggressive. Most of them missed, and that just got him madder. 

He wanted to scream. 

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After one particularity aggravating miss, as he turned to grab the ball and throw it in again, he saw Will approaching from the corner of his eye. He ignored him, hoping the brunette would just leave him alone. He was too mad to talk.

"Mind if I join in?" Will was suddenly besides him, hugging a different basketball in his arms. He smiled at Mike kindly, but for some reason his smile made Mike even angrier.

"NO! Just leave me the fuck alone, Will!" he roared.

And immediately regretted it.

Will's eyes filled with anger and pain at the same time. He hugged the basketball tighter, the edges of his fingers turning white. 

"I'm sorry, I just-" Mike started, but to his surprise Will cut him off.

"No Mike. YOU DON'T GET TO YELL AT ME!" Will yelled, and Mike was taken aback. Mike's yelling seemed to trigger something in Will, as Mike had never heard Will raise his voice before.

"You don't get to yell at me when I'm just trying to help.  So your girlfriend left you. So you have one friend less. BIG DEAL. I didn't act like this after you started ignoring me, and we were best friends since kindergarten. you were my only friend, and you left me alone the moment some stupid girl looked your way. And you know what? you don't get to act like this after what you did to me. You're an asshole, Mike Wheeler. I hope you know that." Will looked at Mike pure hate in his eyes, let go of the ball and ran out of the gym faster than Mike would've thought possible.

Mike watched Will's abandoned basketball bounce on the floor. It was the only sound in the room. 

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"Will? can we please talk?" Mike asked when he finally found Will.

He was in the classroom they had slept in, lying on the desk furthest away from Mike with his back turned to him. He was covered with his blanket, and his pillow was behind his head.

"I'm sleeping," Will said without turning towards Mike. Mike hated the edge in his voice, hated knowing that Will was and at him.

And he hated knowing he had a good reason for it.

"It's like 5 pm..." Mike tired. No response.

"Okay, well I brought you some pudding and fruit I found in the cafeteria. You haven't eaten today."

Still no response.

"I'm really sorry." The words felt empty even to Mike. He wished Will could know how much he meant them.

"Whatever you say." Will's voice was empty, exhausted. Mike wanted to hit himself. did he ruin his chance to be friends with Will again?

"I know I'm an asshole. I really am sorry."

"I know you are, Mike." Will finally got up and faced Mike, and there were a few tears rolling down his cheek.

"And I'll forgive you, eventually. But not right now. I'm too tired to think about it right now."

Mike thought Will's sleeping thing before was an excuse not to talk to him, but now looking at Will he realized Will looked completely miserable, and completely exhausted. His face was white as a sheet, and his eyes were a little closed. Mike glanced down to his hands, and to his alarm saw the tissue-paper bandage was still stained red.

There was no way Will was still bleeding, right? that would be crazy....

"That's fair. Again, I'm sorry. Just- eat something." Mike stepped closer to Will and handed him an apple from the plate.

Will reached for the fruit, and his hand brushed slightly against Mike. Suddenly Mike's whole back was covered with goosebumps.

"good night," Will said. He lied back down.

"good night," Mike said, a bit too late. He turned to leave the classroom, and spent the next few hours reading some stupid library book, his mind not on Jane and Max anymore.