Generation F

Chapter 2

The worst silence in the world is the one you wish to fill with your favorite voice, favorite laughter, favorite song, or maybe even your own voice. Anything to chase away the taunting silence that lingers with despair. Most of the times in movies, they have rain falling during a funeral to set a sad mood. In real life, there is no rain to set the mood. There is the bright sun that mocks you because a bright sunny day sets a happy mood. It also burns you for wearing all black clothing in ninety degree weather. Mom was still crying but it was silently now. Dad was trying to be strong for our sake but he was ready to break. I had done my crying the day we found out and once again at the church but I never showed much emotion anyways. It was a way to hide my fear and pain. 

I always wanted to tell Brandon that I didn't have to mutation but I didn't want him to hate me. I didn't want him to see me as less than what I was. He once had a friend who lacked the mutation and he didn't talk to him after finding out. Brandon felt guilty about it but he never tried to fix it. That was enough to convince me to keep my mouth shut about it. If I couldn't tell Brandon, I could never tell anyone. I could never tell my parents because legally, they were obligated to send me to a 'special' school with other people who lacked the mutation. That leaves Josh as the only other person in my life left to tell but Josh would freak out and tell his parents or mine. I couldn't trust anyone with this.

I pushed away my thoughts as they lowered Brandon's casket into the ground. My dad handed the shovel to me and motioned to step forward. I took a deep breath and let it out before taking a step closer to the grave. I forcefully put the shovel in the dirt and picked it up. I hovered the shovel above the grave but didn't tip it over. Once the dirt fell onto the casket, it would make it real, he would be dead. The news from the police and the funeral would make it real for some people but not for me. I had this hope in the back of my head that he would jump out from around the corner and scare me but once I drop the dirt into the grave, that hope disappears. I don't want to make it real. 

" Olivia, you need to do this. Brandon needs to be put to rest " my dad said. The tone in his voice told me my hesitation was worrying him. I tipped the shovel over painfully slow and watched as the dirt fell onto the casket. I flipped it completely to make sure all of the dirt had fallen in. I held the shovel at my side and stepped back from the grave. I handed the shovel to my father and walked away from them. I could hear my mom calling after me but I just ran. I didn't know where I was going but I needed to escape the silence, the grief, the pitying look from the few people that came to his burial, and from Brandon. I wore black converse to the funeral because Brandon bought them for me but I have never been happier to be wearing them. 

I kept running till I was out of the cemetery but I didn't stop there. I ran down the streets, still not having an idea of where I was going. I was getting weird looks from people but I ignored it and the rude comments when I almost ran into someone. I just felt finally free after being trapped in the darkness. I ignored the aching feeling in my legs as I ran past the church where we just had Brandon's funeral. There were still people outside of it and I could feel them staring at me but I ignored that too. 

I finally stopped running when I could no longer ignore the burning in my chest. It felt as if I had swallowed fire.  Thankfully the one thing I got was not needing as much oxygen, otherwise I would have collapsed about two miles ago. I looked around me and recognized the neighborhood I was in. I practically grew up in it. I suddenly felt dizzy as I turned around and saw my best friend's house. Josh was sitting on the porch, still in his suit. I could feel my breathing getting heavier and shallow. Josh looked up and locked eyes with me. I was going to run away to avoid any conversation but I couldn't. My legs were glued down. I could feel my body slowly swaying every time I tried to move. He jumped up and ran towards me as my knees buckled from under me. Josh caught me and picked me up. The last thing I remember was his panicked voice calling for his parents before I passed out.