Teach me how to trust again

My life is OVER!

Gianna’s P.O.V

I could hear the beeping, it was coming from beside me, well I guess that’s a good sign that I didn’t die. Right? But now I’m guessing my farther knows now. This was supposed to be different, I was just going to come twice a week to the hospital get my tests and go home before my farther realizes but I think that’s over now.

Man my head hurts; I guess that’s what I get for being out for however long I was out. Maybe I should open my eyes. I slowly opened them but it hurt and I knew exactly what happened, I passed out… again. I just want to be healthy I want a normal life is 9 years not enough time to be sick? 9 years ya that’s right 9 years I’ve been sick, a year before dad left then 8 more after that I think.

“Gia? Maria she is waking up go get a nurse or doctor.” I felt someone get off my bed and all I could do was grab their wrist I wanted Maria here when I woke up and she would for sure be getting a hug. I have a huge needle in my arm, huge needles plus passing out usually mean that I needed blood and she is the only person I gave consent for blood to.

“Gianna don’t worry I won’t leave you. Alex can you please get someone she is used to waking up with me beside her. It’s just the way things are.” I could feel sleep taking me again, next time I will wake up for a few hours I know that and then they will keep me for a few days then send me home.

I heard voices not voices that I can place but voices, “so what’s wrong with her?” Ya I think that’s my dad, wait no it was too young like a teenage boy but whose? “She had or has their not sure yet stage IV cancer.” Yep now that one is my dad and I guess he knows now how much does he know?

I roll over so that when I open my eyes I will be able to see who is in my room, my head doesn’t hurt and the lights aren’t as bright. I took a long time to open my eyes and then blinked to focus them, what surprised me was the amount of people in my room and the one person I wanted was gone.

“Where is mar? I want Mar!” I know that that sounded really weak and mean but I want my sister. I know she will have a better idea of if I will get better or not anyway.

“I sent her home, she is only 12 anyway. “ I couldn’t recognize some of the people in the room and that scared me so much more than the fact that my baby sister wasn’t near me when I woke up.

“How are you feeling Gia?” a familiar voice, and my nickname must be Alex. “Do you need anything?”

“People out” I couldn’t breathe, I wasn’t going to say anything people just scare me.

“Ok people lets clear out I’m going to stay and explain what happened.” “See you at school Monday Alex” I heard the people leaving and I could breathe again as they left I let out a breath I didn’t even realize that I was holding.

“Why you stay? I know what happened, I got stressed, didn’t feel well so I went to the bathroom discovered I was pale and couldn’t walk straight, then my nose started to bleed causing me to pass out and to end up in the hospital for let me think… 2.5 days? Oh and to make this better you found out about my cancer. How close am I to what happened?” Yes I know my body better than most people and I can tell how much time has passed between doctors’ appointments or even when I pass out.

“How you know that’s what happened? Or how only 2 ½ days have passed? I have questions that only you can answer and I hope that you will.”

“It’s what always happens Alex, every time I end up in the hospital it’s the same thing, and because most doctors won’t let anyone in for the first 36 hours and then they only let family in for the next 12 so that leaves 12 hours for you to bring in random people that I have never met. What type of questions do you have?”

“Why didn’t you tell us about the cancer?”

“I don’t enjoy being treated like the kid who got cancer just after her 8th birthday; I went into remission at age 12 and then rediagonsed only months into remission. My mum never found out I was going for chemo so why should my dad?”

“Well he is your dad why wouldn’t you want him to know? And you mean you’ve been battling it by yourself for how long now?”

“No Mar knew she was always staying at the hospital with me I could protect her then….” Ok so what I have cancer big deal, but my sister and her safety always comes first. Mum wasn’t a horrible person when we were younger but once I hit 12 and mar was 9 she stopped caring and her boyfriend’s just got worse and worse.

“Protect her from what exactly?”

Ok, so I know that my updates are really random but with work, school, dance, and my babysitting jobs its quite hard to find a regular time to upload but I will try and update at least once every  2 weeks or 1 a week if possible. I am going to write the second chapter of the night and hopefully get it up tonight!!

Comment, fan, vote but only if you like it. Any comments are worth it and I will read and respond as quickly as I can~Brooke