Teach me how to trust again

The Reasons I'm here/ my life is a mess!

Giannas view-

I’m not exactly sure when or why I decided to tell Zack about it but I did and it scared me. He is the only one I can tell all by myself and it will be only my side. If he wants to judge after that is fine but I want him to know how I felt.

“Yes, Zack stay.”

“Are you going to tell him about it?”

“Yes and no. Only the reason I am here. He deserves to know especially if he is Alex's friend” I want him to be mine to but I will ask at school Monday after everything sinks in.

“Love you. Stay strong and only answer and tell him what you can handle.”

“I will I promise, love you!” Everyone left but me as it is my room and Zack. I got out of bed and walked to the balcony as it is still nice out and I love spending time out side with the stars I thought it would be easier to tell him out there. I took my blanket and turned on lights as I walked passed them.

“Zack, make me a promise before I tell you anything that you will listen to everything I have to say and not judge until the morning. Can you do that for me?”

“Gianna, what’s the big secret? I promise you I can do that for you.”

“I don’t trust anyone. I haven’t since I was 8 and my dad left. He took everyone I was close to including himself. I was always a daddy’s girl even if I played soccer, and football, and of course I wish I could still play baseball but I can’t and I haven’t been aloud since I was 9 and I was diagnosed.” I wanted to cry I had never told anyone any of this so why was I telling Zack?

“Gianna you don’t have to tell me this you know that right?”

“I know but I have to, you need to know.” Maybe I was wrong maybe I can’t tell him… deep breaths.

“He took everything with him, my smile, my laughter, and my brother, he also took my hope. You see I had been sick for a few months I had been going to doctor after doctor and no one could figure out what was wrong with me. The one morning I couldn’t get up and get out of bed my mum came in and pulled up my shirt and started balling and calling for Alex to get my dad. The next week I found out that I had cancer. Two days later I woke up and everyone was gone except for Maria and myself. My dad had took everyone and left me the cancerous child and the baby of the family with my mum. For a while I went to regular treatments but it wasn’t doing anything so my mum decided that it wasn’t worth it. I turned 10 and wound up in the hospital after a game of soccer in gym class, the doctors then proscribed a drug that was supposed to help with my cancer as I still had it. I was running out at double the rate that I was supposed to I then found my mum one night taking my medication, she was addicted to it. When I asked her about it she said it helped her deal with me. At the age of 12 I went into remission for a total of 4 months and 12 days before it came back. I was heartbroken. I lost my hair the following summer and went back to school as the bald kid who had a messed up mum and a younger sister who was always getting into trouble, I took it all in stride and did what I could to help keep me and Mar safe. She was and still is my everything. 2 months ago I had to call social services on my mum she had been gone for a week and no one knew where she went or when she would be back. The next morning there was a knock on the door I answered it to was two police men and they told me that my mum had O.D and then was beat to death the rest of the way. I was then sent to live here with people that I barley know and nightmares that I can’t tell the difference of the real thing and the dream. I have to protect Mar if I don’t know one will. And cancer that the doctors think is spreading and quickly.”