Easy As Cheese

To Be Tough

~
We are all broken people finding home in each other's hearts
~

Molly arrived some moments later with plenty of hugs and greetings to hand out. Harriet wasn't with her, but I didn't worry too much because I knew I'd see her again soon.

We had all moved into the house, thawing from the cold and enjoying the sound of each others voices.

Orion flaunted over telling the news to his mother first while John said he should be the one because he arranged everything.

Benji was enjoying the company, a smile on his face as always. Molly was surprised to see him and took a moment catch up with him alone.
I could tell he was an old friend of the family's and he had been around since the beginning.

Apollo and I stood in the kitchen leaning against the bar and looking into the living room. We sat in silence but to my surprise, it wasn't strained.
Apollo - was worn. He didn't look fully here, nor did he look fully away. His gaze flickered down at me after feeling the attention he was receiving. Apollo's eyes drifted over my face before he finally gave me a genuine smile. "What are you looking at me for?"

I shrugged my shoulders and enjoyed his smile for the short moment I could.
"Are you feeling alright?"

Apollo rubbed the back of his neck, his bun sagging a little against his knuckles as he did so. He took a glance at me again before looking away. "Yes Mouse, I'm alright."

The feeling that came over me resembled a weight dropping into my stomach. It didn't ease me to think that Apollo was the cause of this.

Apollo looked away so I wouldn't see him lie.

I found myself wanting to comfort him, but I didn't know how to. My fingers twitched at the thought of reaching for him, feeling his skin underneath mine as he would drift closer to me. Would he?

Maybe the reason I wanted to comfort him so badly was because his brown eyes looked so defeated. Was it because I was a burden? Did Apollo feel like he was doing this alone?

"It's okay to not be okay. You know that don't you?" I tried my best not to get caught up in looking at him for so long. I didn't know when this habit began, but I didn't like how comfortable I felt when doing so.

Apollo smiled. "When it comes from you, I do." He sighed making his shoulders fall, the image of him straining to look stable in the eyes of others somehow made me feel worse. I knew that if we wanted to, we could open ourselves up to one another right here in the kitchen. The house was so busy, I doubt any of them noticed we were still here. Apollo lowered his voice anyway like he was afraid someone might over hear his worries. "I'm just worried that leaving Sarah alone was probably not the best idea. I don't like how she makes you so uncomfortable."

Benji had sent Sarah away for a few hours to conduct business some place else. I wasn't sure what kind of business they had in mind, or if it was even that at all. The thought of her being unsupervised is what left me the most uneasy.

However, I wouldn't let Apollo know that.

"I trust you. If you think she's harmless enough to leave alone, then I won't worry or stress you further."

"It's not about you trusting me anymore. It's about me trusting myself. And I don't." Apollo scooted closer and rested his head in his hand as he leaned against the counter, his glare focused on the living room commotion. "I also don't think she's harmless either. If she scares you to the point where you'd pull a gun on her, I think it would be wise to not underestimate her."