Longing

hope

it's the boy you never saw coming that will change your life

what i think is crazy is how you can feel just from getting a snapchat from someone. the way your entire mood will change and you will feel so much better, about absolutely everything. when you see the cute faces he makes when he snaps you and how he shows he cares. he snaps you just enough where you can't let go of your phone. you wait for the day when you'll finally be able to talk to him for hours.

every time i talk to him, i'm filled with this unexplainable joy. it fills my heart so full it feels like my heart is going to explode. i hold back joyous tears thinking about it. except they are partially sad because i'm afraid. i'm afraid of what i'm feeling. i don't want to act on it and lose him, but what if i don't. this feeling is just so strong i can't ignore it. i'm afraid of fake affection and pity. i don't know what to do. when i look into his eyes, i just feel complete. i could stare into his eyes for literally days. when i am away from him, i just don't feel the same as before i met him. i feel, well, empty. i love it when he holds the door for me and laughs at my jokes. he asks me questions about how i'm doing and let's the conversation continue without it being one-sided. i love being around him. he cares. it seems to anyway. i usually am never outgoing to talk to guys i like, but this is different. i can talk to him. i can keep eye contact with him. i feel like he understands me. i feel like we can almost communicate without speaking. just thought our eyes. it's crazy. i don't know what im feeling yet whatever it is, it's so strong it's controlling my actions. with him, it feels my dreams may all come true. like actually though. with them, i never felt the feeling of explosive joy. but now, i feel it. is this love? how can i tell what to do next? i know the Lord will guide me to who i am supposed to be with, but how can i tell if this is him? people say follow your heart, but should i? i don't want to lose him. is this what my heart wants? i mean it feels like it because i can't ignore how i feel around him. but what do i even begin to do.