Butterfly Kisses

03.

** Kathryn
Just as Rise up went off I asked Ms. Sylvia if I could request a song. "Can we listen to my mom's favorite song? Just as those words came out my mouth I felt tears warm up and make their way into my eyes. I closed my eyes and took a deep breath as a few tears rolled down my cheeks. I thought to myself better to show these emotions now so I won't be that one person who tries to act like they aren't hurting and bottle up their feelings. This is my mother for crying out loud, and  that's what I did. I wept loudly. I'm ready to get to church.

When I opened my eyes, Ms. Sylvia and Aya were just going on with their morning and enjoying breakfast. I apologize for my outburst, it's just hard for me.

"Honey, you don't have to apologize. You're going through one of the most difficult things in life that not everyone has to endure. Everybody has to loose something or somebody. Even if you're the one being lost, that pain is still felt by your family said Ms. Sylvia.

I smiled through a face of tears. Thank you very much for your encouraging words. I can't thank you enough for that. Alexa, play "Dear No One, Tori Kelly. As soon as I said that the kitchen was soon filled with the beat and I began signing along.

"I don't really like big crowds,
I tend to shut people out,
I like my space, Yeah Yeahhhh.
But I'd love to have a soul mate
And God'll give him to me someday
And I Knowwwww,
It'll be worth the wait"

My mama loved this part of the song. Every time this part came on, whatever was in her hand became a temporary microphone and God forbid she didn't have anything in her hand, she's gonna pause the song until she can. Do y'all know how difficult it was riding around the car with her, how many times we've swerved because she was reaching for a brush or a comb that she had in the car somewhere. I laughed. Not to mention all the almost burnt dinners.

Ms. Sylvia and Aya was just listening to me go on and on. "Omg, it's 7:45. I apologize for rambling, it's just I haven't had a moment to vent to anybody. I don't have any friends or any siblings. All I had was my mother." I just kept talking until I wept again, but this time in Aunty Aya's open arms.

Aunty Aya hugged me tightly as we both cried and Ms. Sylvia came soon after and hugged us for comfort as she prayed for us. Ms. Sylvia then stood, and wiped her tears and said "This is only reason we're late today, and that's okay. Kathryn I'm glad you're here with us. Let's fix ourselves up and be ready to go in 15 minutes, deal? "Deal" they said in unison and continued getting ready for church.