Butterfly Kisses

06

Part 2

** Aya continued** 

(For those that may be confused at this point, this is Aya's POV in the Blog. She's telling you about her day) 

After I got off the phone with my grandma I kind of smiled, thinking about what had just happened. "SNAP OUT OF IT GIRL" I yelled to myself and shook my head. I headed straight home and got ready for work. Today I'm going into the shoe store and not the restaurant. I asked for time off at the restaurant so that I could help Grandma plan Kathryn's 17th birthday. They asked where we were having dinner because they would host it for me. When my boss said that I almost laughed, instead I asked "What's the catch?" "There is no catch, you're a great worker and you're our most asked for waitress. This is the least we can do for you since you won't allow us to show you appreciation in any other way. 

With everything going on, her party is something that I'm really looking forward too. She just lost her mother and the fact that she'd agreed to allow my grandmother and myself to do anything. I know when my mother first moved because I didn't want to leave Daniel. I was sad but at least I could call her on the phone and she could always come and visit whenever she feels like it. This isn't like that, her mother, my sister is really gone. Like gone gone. With only memories and images to help us remember that we were even blessed in the first place to have been given the opportunity to have such an angel at our side in the first place. 

God y'all. I truly miss my sister. To everyone reading this blog, make things right with your family. Do not be so consumed with "love" it takes away everything else away from you. Remember when I said I was with him because he's the father of my two beautiful children? Yeah that's true, but also parts of me still wants him to love me the way he did. I find myself asking if its really love or just some type of "I don't want you but nobody else can have you either" type thing. 

Either way, the feeling is there and I know I may be stupid for staying but don't judge me y'all. I'm telling you ladies my story because I know my own hurt and there's no need for me to go through this alone. All of your comments with support and encouragement, how could i not keep going? You guys are amazing, at first I was just posting so I could get things off my chest. I do this thing where I write in my notebook all the things I want to say but can't say to anyway and keep it locked away. 

One day I was writing and as I wrote, I thought. I thought about every movie I've ever watched and how every woman took abuse from a man. Very often, you'd get a movie where the man was great all the way around. Where are the movies and stories about the women that did that abuse to the men? Do they not think we're capable of doing the same thing? 

Leading with these thoughts, I pushed myself down because why would I think these thought if I wasn't going to do it? Daniel has friends everywhere and they're cop and lawyer friends. No man on this earth is worth me loosing my kids over. I can't say I don't care that Daniel does whatever he wants to whomever he wants, because I do care. I'll hurt in silence, maybe one day he'll leave me or finally decide to love me properly. 

Alright guys this blog post is long enough for now. I'll be back later or tomorrow. 

**Later that night** 

DING!! 

I looked over and I had a message from Daniel. 

WAIT. I just said a message from Daniel. When I opened the message it was a screenshot of my blog with the text, "You know I'm your biggest fan on your blog right? 🤣🤣 It was a private blog at first but I didn't like you always on your laptop at night so I got someone to trace your activity a long time ago. Keep anything to do with me off this site or I will take the kids and leave, stop playing with me Aya." 

I didn't know how to respond to him. I just sat there with the phone in my hand reading over his text. That's when my fingers began typing back. "Why does it bother you with what I do with my time. It's 11 and you're not here. Your kids have been in bed for 2 hours, thanks to me. I keep them clothed and fed without your help. You haven't been home at a decent hour in forever, my kids don't even know you. You pick them up from school and what else? Any sensible person could see through you. Good night Daniel. I see you when you come in drunk later".  I turned my phone on silent so I can't hear nothing but my alarm tomorrow and went to sleep.