Butterfly Kisses

04.

Blog Day 2
Today is Monday which means I have to get up, dress the kids for school, myself as well. I'm attending school for Culinary Arts currently and as soon as I get out of school, I have to run to work. I work 2 jobs, Shoe Outlet & I'm a waitress. A lot of people would ask me why am I working when my husband is a lawyer? But honey, let me tell you, I would work 6 jobs if it meant I didn't have to work under his nose.

Sometimes I know I shouldn't have to work but I refuse to let him leave me and I'll be broke and not  know or have anything going for myself. Even if that means I have to work and go to school until I have everything I ever dreamed of owning on my own, I will. Nothing is too difficult as long as you put your mind to it and keep pushing. I live by this mantra. I try to instill this in my kids as well.

I have a boy, Kayden who is 10, and a girl, Kayla, who is 8. I would have a 5 year old and a 3 month old but I miscarried. I know people are reading this blog and thinking "If he's such a terrible and abusive husband, why are you still having sex with him, let alone not getting on birth control to prevent pregnancy. Fortunately, this is my body and any child that I make would me loved, wanted or not. Unfortunately, he's a lawyer.

He knows everybody in the justice system, even medical. His people know people and if they'd seen me in there inquiring about birth control, they'll tell him and he'll try to take my kids from me and leave. And not even over my dead body will that happen. My kids are my everything and all of this that I do is to protect them.

Guys it's getting late, I'm almost late dressing the kids and getting them breakfast. Until my next blog.
-Aya.
••••

As I dressed me and the kids I called out Alexa to play " My Life " by Ash B. She's really an excellent singer and this song has my mantra in the lyrics so I know that I'm not the only one who believes in this.

"And Imma keep this Faith in me
The Faith in me make me believe
That I can do anything I put my mind too
And I can be anything that's destined to me"

As I helped dress the kids, Kayla looked at me hard and I caught her. Everything alright, honey? I asked her She smiled and said "Yes mommy, I was just thinking how I ask for some Mac & Cheese for dinner tonight. We haven't had any good Macaroni since Dad fired the last chef. I laughed too hard. I said baby, it's 6:30 in the morning and you're asking about dinner? What do you want for breakfast?

She looked at me with even bigger eyes than before, these Ho were had sadness in them and she finally said "I would ask for Mac & Cheese but I know that's a dinner food so I'll settle for some pancakes, sausage links, and some eggs & cheese. If I can't have just that then I must have my Macaroni for dinner. I smiled. You are your father's daughter. I like your determination and will to stand up for what you believe in, even if it's just as small as a meal. Keep that up honey. I love you.

I kissed her forehead and told her to go down the hall to the bathroom and brush her teeth with her brother. I reassured her that her breakfast would be done shortly. I grabbed my school bags and laid my work clothes out on the sofa we have in our bedroom. That way when I get from class, I can shower quickly and get ready for work. Lord, let this be a good Monday, a good week all around I said as I let out a breath and walked to Kathryn's room to wake her for school as well. I finally headed downstairs to set the plates for the kids.