I peer down the hallway. All of the lights are off, finally. I close my bedroom door quietly and tip-toe down towards the kitchen. There is no way he'll know. I pull open the door and look in. God, I'm going to starve if I don't eat right now.
There is no way he could know. This is going to be my secret. I peel off the lid and sit on top of the bench, then the lights all snapped on "What are you doing?" I look at dad with wide eyes "Are you serious? You just got out of the hospital."
"I'm fine," I say gesturing myself "See?" I put the spoon on the tip of my nose then watch it fall back onto the bench. Oh man, I did it yesterday.
Dad still didn't move or even acknowledge my terrible joke"Milana Rebecca Barnes. You cannot eat ice cream at 3 in the goddamn morning," he takes the tub and the spoon, then points to my room "Bed, now."
"You're just jealous that my metabolism is very fast and I won't gain weight."
"Mila, I swear--"
"Can we at least share?"
He glances into the tub and then sighed "Fine," I smile "Off the bench." I slide off and sit on the sofa with dad. This is better than before "Do you feel better now?" I nod "Not because of the ice cream, right?" I smile. Half of it is because of the ice cream. Dad turns on the TV, skipping past all of my reality shows and puts on a movie instead.
"Did you kill anybody yesterday?"
"Doesn't matter."
"That means yes. But what would I know, I am only dilettante."
Dad shakes his head "You know a lot about so many things, don't beat yourself up."
"Ha, too late," I say showing him my hands. He wasn't as amused as I had hoped, but he smiled anyway. Dad put his arm around my shoulders and kissed my head "Did Bruce give you an answer about my birthday yet?"
He nods "He said no." I wanted to fight and run away, but, after the last time I was outside I think Bruce might be right "But he gave me a pretty good idea."
Dad puts the empty ice cream tub on the coffee table "Was I really 1 in 10,000?" I whisper. He glances down at me "Bruce told me. He said that I'm special."
I know he doesn't want to talk about it, but I want to know what happened to me. Why did I get saved? Dad pulls back from me and faced me properly "He picked you because you were so vulnerable. I don't even remember you crying. I saw a lot of bad things."
Now I feel bad. I hang my head, and he put his hand under my chin "I remember you would come up to the glass whenever I walked up, and your little hands reached up when you saw me. Or cookies. But mostly me." I smile but still felt upset.
I remember doing that. He looked so confused and would stand back from the glass and then come closer again. He would turn his head from side to side, making sure no one was around. They would beat him sometimes. They put electricity in his head if he got caught. Sometimes they would lock me in a cage to stop him from seeing me.
He put his arms around me and hugs me tight "Thanks for saving me, dad." He smiled again "Do I have to go to bed now?" He shakes his head.
"You're getting old now, I don't have much say in anything anymore."
"I don't think that 16 is old. I think 88 is old, which is how old you are."
"106 actually, speaking of math, when was the last time you 'went to school'?" I shrug. Homeschooling and learning in general are very boring to me. Everything is boring to me "I know I don't enforce it, but you have to do it."
"You forgot about it too."
"Yeah, but I'm getting yelled at by Bruce, so it's important again. Promise me you'll try to get it done," I hold up my pinky, he rolls his eyes but crossed our pinky's together. He turns back to the TV as I lay on my side closing my eyes.
-
When I woke up, dad was gone again. I tie my hair out of my face and go upstairs trying to find him. Why are they all in the living room? I walk closer but see dad throw something across the room. What made him so mad? "I thought you said we were done," Steve said loudly, "You said we got the last of them."
"It's not just him anymore. Hydra brought him back. Miss Romanoff found of their agents trying to get into the building. They know she's here."
This feels like a conversation I should be apart of. Dad sits down again "I thought she was safe here. You promised me that we would be safe."
"I said you would be protected. I never said that there was no way they couldn't find Mila." Does that mean we have to leave? I mean, if they know I'm here why would they let me stay? Dad rubs his face and sighed again.
"What are we going to do?" Dad faces him "Where are we going to go?"
"You're not leaving," Natasha says firmly. Then what are we supposed to do? "Mila is safe as long as she isn't seen," That's not fair. Natasha faces him "And maybe you should stay with her." That's worse. Why should he suffer just because of some psychopaths who want to kill me?
I get off the floor and go back to the elevator. I rub my hands up and down my arms. I wish that they would tell me what is going on. I take the elevator down to the pool. I sit on the edge of the pool staring into the water. Why would he do that to me?
Maybe I should just run away and hope that they all forget about me. I don't want dad to keep going on these missions, I never know when or if he's going to come home. I stand up and then slip into the pool.
