The Arcana ~ The Requiem of Lost Memories

XIII - Death

1. A sea change

The rope goes taut.
The crowd surges, screaming and cheering and weeping, but all I hear is a muffled roar.
Julian.
I need to get to him.
Clarity returns to me in a rush.
I fight my way through the crowd, but the press of people is suffocating.
I can't get close.
My sight blurs.
Someone catches my arm.
...Portia.
"I'm so glad I found you!
This crowd is impossible. We need to get out of here, and back to the palace.
That's where... Where they'll take him.
C'mon. We should be there when he wakes up."
She leads me away from the square, but as I follow, my knees give in, as a sudden wave of exhaustion washes over me.
I stumble and slump against a wall, heart hammering painfully in my chest.
"Akiko!"
Darkness eats my vision, and Portia's concerned voice fades away.

When I'm coming back to myself, I am floating in a starry void.
This place feels familiar...
I drift vaguely downwards, surrounded by a peaceful haze.
Yes, I did see this place before...
My feet touch solid surface.
I find myself standing on an island of stardust.
...I am not alone. There is a familiar presence just behind me.
It's Julian, standing on another island, looking confused.
If the plan worked, he should be at the boundary between realms.
... Is that where I am?
I call out, but though the void swallows my voice, he turns.
He reaches out for me, across the gulf.
Our islands are drifting apart from each other...
My fingers only brush shortly over his palm, before his field of stardust drifts away, into darkness.
The stars wink out around me, and-
I fall.
I hit the surface with a splash, blinking water from my eyes.
Is this...?
It is.
I am back in The Hanged Man's realm.
I still don't see anything like a path. So that means, get up and start walking.
It seems darker and quieter without Julian here.
I miss him. His jokes, his stories,
his encouragement.
But ...
If the plan worked, I will find him here.
I am sure of it.
I hold onto that thought, and let it pull me onward.
Behind me, something rustles.
I whip around, all senses on high alert.
It's just a vine, slipping off a gnarled tree.
... Stop.
There was no tree there before.
Just like the first time I was here, the tree comes to life, screeching, cracking and groaning as their roots and branches grasp at me.
They seize me, coiling around my limbs, and lifting me into the air.
I kick and flail, trying to get loose.
But the more I struggle, the tighter they squeeze.
...
I draw a deep breath to calm myself, and relax. As I stop moving, so do the branches.
For a long moment, I hang there in the air, absolutely still.
Then, with a wooden groan, the branches start carrying me through the forest, into the fog.
The trees around me sway, the rustling of the leaves fills my ears.
It almost sounds approving.
Finally, the branches set me down on dry land, next to a clearing.
The fog is as thick and impenetrable as a wall, surrounding the clearing.
But inside the ring of roots and branches, the air looks perfectly clear.
A tall, thin lantern casts a pool of red light.
Within the clearing, Julian kneels, holding his head.
I run towards him, but no matter how fast I move, I cannot seem to get any closer.
Across from Julian stands a motionless figure.
The Hanged Man.
"I see you're here at last."
He turns his head so that one beady eye is visible to me, and winks.
"Your memories should be returning now."
Julian gets to his feet, wavering unsteadily.
"What... the hell?
I- This is- It can't be- That's impossible!"
"Not only is it possible, it is the truth."
"... All this time, I thought I murdered the Count. All this time, I thought I came back to face justice.
Even when I learned the truth... Even when I knew about my innocence, I knew this was not the whole story."
"You remembered some of what happened that night, but you were still missing a piece.
The answer to a vital question.
Why? Why did you go to Lucio's room?"
"To kill him.
And the only reason I didn't was...
That I didn't get there in time?
But why? Why would I want to-"
"Ah. There it is."
Julian stares at his trembling hands in horror.
"He... He was...?
He was the source of the Plague?
All those years... All those people dead... Because of him?"
"Lucio's existence was tied to the existence of the Plague. Wherever he went, it followed.
When he settled in Vesuvia, so did the Plague."
"And killing him would have stopped it.
That's what you told me that night three years ago. That's the cure.
... Heh. When I said he was being a plague on the city, I didn't know I was being literal.
But... If the Plague's coming back...
So is he.
He's coming back? How? How would he do that?"
The Hanged Man shrugs.
"You have a plan to come back to life, don't you?"
"This?"
Julian touches his throat, where his mark faintly glows. A flash of recognition passes over his face.
"... You... you gave me this mark.
I ... I made a deal with you. For the memories I didn't want, the power to heal.
You mean Lucio made a deal to come back? He made a deal with you?"
"I'm not the only one capable of making deals. There are others.
But 'who' is a question you'll have to answer on your own.
Now you know everything I can tell you. The rest is up to you."
There is silence for a few long moments, before Julian clears his throat.
"So... What now? Are you going to send me back so that I can tell everyone the cure?"
"Not quite."
"No? Are you going to judge me first? Decide whether I'm worthy?"
"I said the rest is up to you."
The Hanged Man laughs.
"Inaction... Introspection... They can only serve you for so long.
You stand between realms, at a crossroads. Only you can decide where to go now."
"Only I...?
Fine then. Lay it out for me. What options do I have?"
"The mark you possess has only enough power left to bring you back into the world of the living.
Then, it will disappear for good.
Or, you can stay here, in my realm. The cure will reach the people, who will need to know."
The Hanged Man winks at me once again.
"There is much you could learn from me."
Julian starts pacing in that small pool of light.
"So, I have to decide whether to stay, or go?
Heh...
Now isn't this a choice between the devil and the deep blue sea."
"Oh? How so?"
"Well, ... When I go back- This mark will be gone. I- I won't be able to heal people anymore."
"You're a doctor, aren't you?"
"Well, uh. Yes. But leeches can only do so much. Half the time, they do nothing at all.
This mark... Is really better than any medical treatment I know.
Didn't matter how fatal the poison or how high the fever. With this mark, I could heal anyone."
"And without it?"
"I... don't know.
I couldn't even find the Plague cure on my own. I needed you to tell me.
Killing Lucio? Anyone could have done that. Asra. Nadia.
Hell, some if his courtiers were only waiting for an opportunity.
Even once I knew the cure... I wasn't the one to deliver it. I didn't make it in time.
And now... How good is a Plague doctor, when there is no Plague?
What good am I?"
It aches me, hearing him say this words.
I stretch out to reach him, but I can't push through the thick fog.
I... can't reach him.
The Hanged Man glances at me and slightly shakes his head.
His meaning is clear. This is a decision Julian has to make on his own.
"So let's say I do this. I go back. I deliver the cure."
"Then what?"
Julian stops pacing, staring into the fog.
"Then.... Then, I..."
"Do you even have a plan for what comes after?"
"All this time, I thought I was coming back to Vesuvia to face justice. There was no afterwards on the table."
"Here, things remain the same. There, things change steadily. The future is shrouded in uncertainty.
So what will you do when you reach that point?"
"... What I always do. Go and find trouble. Drag others into my mess. Run away. Have sleepless nights. Find new trouble again.
Story of my life.
And... I'll hurt people again. Pasha.
Mazelinka.
I wasn't there for them. And I....
I wasn't there for Akiko.
If I stay, I'll be abandoning her again.
But if I go back... Will I do any better?
Will I ever be better?
Or will I just find another crime to hang for? Another way to fail her?"
...
A pit of dread opens in my stomach.
What is he talking about?
"Akiko... So you're gaining those memories back too, then."
"I... When I met her, I thought she seemed familiar.
I didn't know I was right."
... What?
"You weren't strangers after all, huh?"
" I knew her.... Three years ago, I took her as an apprentice at my clinic, even.
But when she needed me, I wasn't there. I was so wrapped up in finding a cure, I didn't even realize she was sick."
Excuse me? What?
"I didn't know until it was too late that... That she'd died. Oh Akiko..."
...
That I...
I...?
I can do nothing but just stand there, motionless. Struggling to comprehend Julian's words.
We knew each other...
We knew each other, until I... died of the Plague.
Even as my mind tries to reject the even possibility...
I know.
I can feel it in my bones, my blood, the headaches building behind my temples, the screams that smother in my throat.
In the howling silence of my past.
It's the truth.
"I know what I want to do."
"Are you sure? You can take as long as you like."
"I don't need more time. I've made up my mind."
I'm sent flying and am pulled away from the clearing, into the fog...