The Arcana ~ The Requiem of Lost Memories

XX- Judgement ~Reversed

1. A Troubled Soul

The Devil looms over us... He could kill us every second.
Darkness engulfs us and my voice rings in the stifling silence.
"I love you, Julian."
The limp chains around me fall to the floor, crumbling with the sound of shattering glass.
I clutch my chest.
"You know... When I first saw you, I was afraid to get to know you.
When I got to know you, I was afraid to kiss you.
When I then kissed you, I was afraid to fall in love with you.
And now that I love you...
I am terrified.
I don't want to lose you.
Never again."
Julian blinks at me.
"Akiko..."
I wrap my arms around myself.
"...You, you don't need to say it back only because I said it. I'll be glad just to-"
The Devil sends out a wave of magic towards Julian, but I throw myself between it.
I cough a gasp as the magic impacts at my back.
"Akiko, no!"
I smile wryly.
"I'll be glad just to keep you safe."
Another spell impacts, making me stumble forward.
"Akiko!"
The Devil rolls with his eyes.
"Enough shouting her name. Don't you have something more interesting to say?"
I struggle to my feet.
"I have."
Turning around, I gather my magic in my hands.
"I will fight you."
The Devil scoffs, looking down at me.
"You don't have the slightest chance to best me, foolish human."
"Maybe I don't. But I don't care. I will fight. When I lose, I'll stand up and fight again, over and over and over, if this is what I need to do to protect Julian."
Magic builds within me, singing in my imminent surroundings.
Julian's voice is full of wonder.
"Akiko, you're... You're glowing."
He's right... My resolve, my determination manifests as glowing streams under my skin.
The Devil smirks.
"You will fight with no chance of winning? This is meaningless business! Just as meaningless as the life of a puny human. As you're different from them, I thought you would look further. I thought you would understand. But... Seems like I overestimated you."
...What? I am... Different?
What should that mean?
The Devil builds his threatening aura.
"It is far about time I wrapped things up. Any last words?"
I fan out my arms, conjuring up a shield around Julian.
"Just try it, goatman."
The Devil hisses.
"Don't get complacent.
I've broken kings and warlords.
I shaped the course of your history, bent your entire world to my will.
Though you are no ordinary human, there is nothing you can do against me."
Julian now sounds desperate.
"Stop this madness, Akiko! I don't want you to-"
He stops short as he sees me smiling.
"No madness...? Impossible for me. Let me keep you safe. Please."
The Devil arches a brow, smiling benevolently all of a sudden.
"If his safety is everything you desire, that is something you can very easily achieve, Akiko.
You only need to join forces with me. Then I will assure that he will stay unharmed."
I scoff.
"Join forces with you? Never.
If I did that, everything would just play out for the worse. I saw what you do with the ones who succumb to you. What monstrosities they become.
You only use them to your advantage. You feed on their magic, which only makes you stronger. Oh, no, I won't let that happen."
He shrugs.
"Maybe. But they always get what they wished for."
I shake my head.
"I don't care. I don't need you to protect the ones I love."
"That's right. You can do this alone."
...What?
"You know you can. The Devil can't beat you. You are unique."
...Who said that?
"That's not important now. You will find out soon. You know what you must do."
...Protect my beloved.
"Correct. Now set forth. You will find me when the time comes."
I nod, magic surging around me, burning the darkness away.
I hear the shattering of metal behind me. Julian's free.
But instead of looking distressed, the Devil watches me with the idle curiosity of a bored child.
"Oh? Most intriguing. It seems I wrote you off too soon.
Well, all the better.
Watching you giving into despair will be even more fun then."
Just as the Devil raises his hand to deliver a fatal blow, light flashes and eats up my surroundings.

I am taken away, the Devil and Julian disappear into nothing. Frantically I cast glances around, piercing the glowing white with stares.
"Julian! No, come back, Julian!"
What the heck is happening here?!
I reach out my hand towards the direction where Julian was, touching nothing but air.
Where is he? Why is this happening?
" It's all your fault."
...What?
"You heard correctly. And you know I'm right."
The light fades, showing the ruins of my family's workshop.
My heart grows heavy, and my stomach drops under the weight of the guilt I feel.
"Precisely. If you hadn't had that stupid idea, you could have been happy together with your family. Your parents could have watched Emi grow up. They could have witnessed you and your sister maturing. But instead..."
The scenery blurs, showing nothing but flames.
I can see my parents, winding and screaming in pain as they are tied to sheer golden posts that resonate with my magic. They are burning.
"Instead, all thanks to your harebrained idea, they suffer immeasurable pain. And you know what's the worst?"
"...I forgot about them."
"You forgot about them. Instead of righting the wrong, you lived on, lightheartedly. You left them in their eternal torment. You left them alone when they needed you the most."
I swallow heavily as the scenery fades into the magician's realm, showing Emi.
"And the poor, poor Emi. Your own sister. You gave her hope. You swore you would come and find her. But in the end, she found you."
Right... I didn't hold up my promise...
And furthermore, I...
"You forgot her as well."
I forgot her too.
The truth weighs heavily on my shoulders, threatening to crash me.
I only numbly realize the scenery changing again.
I stand in my shop, a corpse lying on the counter.
It's my aunt Mila. The sclera of her eyes is crimson red and tears of blood dry on her cheeks. The rancid smell of rotting flesh reaches my nose.
I approach her, taking her cold, limp hand into mine.
Tears flow down my cheeks.
"Mila..."
"And after you failed to protect Emi... You also failed to protect the woman who was like a second mother to you. The woman who took you both in, without asking questions. The woman who fed you and sung lullabies when you had nightmares of the terrible, awful things you did. But no matter how much she cared about you, and took care of you... In return, you let her down."
...I let her down.
I let her die.
No! No, there is nothing I could have done to stop this! The Plague is not my doing!
"But you should have done something. Anything. Instead, you preferred mourning and withing away in self blame, sitting by and watching how she died!"
The words pierce me like a sword.
...I only... I only sat by and watched.
The world spins and I see two familiar  figures after my vertigo cleared.
"...Julian! Asra!"
I run to them, happy to see them unharmed, but stop as I see their faces.
They show fear, disgust... And anger.
The ominous voice rings again in my head.
"Oh, did you already forget what you did to them? Ah well, I'm sure they'll show you with pleasure."
I feel cold, awkwardly distant as I approach them further.
"Ah, there she is. The liar. Wait for me, you said? You didn't."
Asra, who pierces me with a loathing stare, grabs my wrist, and the world reshapes again.
It now shows the Lazaret, the black shores behind the crematorium.
This is where...
Asra's voice is hard as he turns to me.
"Here, I was tormented by you. After being friends, no...
We weren't friends.
I loved you.
At the other shore you promised you would wait for me. And where did I find you?
Here. All ash and dust. You are a liar. You didn't hold up your promise.
And even now, now that you're back... You weren't waiting for me.
You fell in love with Ilya.
You are a liar, a monster.
I should have never made a deal to bring you back."
Every single word he says tears a hole into my heart.
It is all...
Julian looks down his nose at me, grabbing hold of my other wrist.
"And that's only what you did to him."
The world rearranges and shows Julian's old office.
"After I took you as my apprentice, we worked here, day and night. And instead of doing anything..."
The whites of Julian's second eye turns blood red.
"You sat back and watched me in my agony. Watched me dying."
The world blurs again, showing the coliseum with an abandoned court of law, and in the middle of the arena, a gallow. The rope flutters sinisterly in the air, with no wind.
"And at this trial... You had the chance to protect me. You had the chance to keep me safe. But...
You failed.
You failed me.
You failed and watched me die. Again."
No...
...Stop this, please...
Julian scoffs.
"Oh please. We're not done yet."
Our surroundings transform into the secret dining room under Lucio's chambers.
This is where...
"Here, we encountered the Devil for the second time.
Here, you decided, you simply decided to sacrifice Pasha and me.
You are a monster.
I could never love someone like this."
I feel like my whole world shatters.
This is all...
This all is my fault.
But.
...That's what I think about myself.
Neither Asra... And least of all Julian would say something so cruel. Even if it is the truth.
"Oh, is that what you really think?
You are a monster. A witch.
It was only a matter of time until they saw your true face."
"Who are you?"
A snicker carries through the silence.
"Is that important? What's important, is who you are."
"I know who I am. I have my mistakes, yes. And all of this is my fault, true.
The guilt is devouring me alive. Crushing me. I can't forgive myself for what I've done.
You tried to break me, Devil. Break my resolve.
You succeeded in showing me the worst sides of myself.
That did not break my fighting spirit, though.
You made one vital mistake yourself."
Gathering up my magic, I let my surroundings crumble.
"You tried to use my loved ones as leverage."
As the world dissolves into dust, I fall into darkness.