Sink or Swim

5

Chapter Song: I was in heaven- Chelsea Cutler

"Ughhhh! I'm so stupid why do I even try!" I groaned throwing myself frantically into the couch across from Riley and Liam. "I mean it's not like I'm not over him and anything he does, doesn't affect me. I'm not made of stone!"

I peaked over at the two of them but they just have their eyes brows raised and mouths a little hanging open. They were in our basement going over each other's English homework from today since they got partnered up.

 I mean thank god I was partnered with Hayden instead of Cal it would have been pure torture. But then again, he was with Natalie which sucks having to witness that.

"I mean he did accuse me in the parking lot and yell in my face calling me a liar. Then after class, he tried to apologize for yelling at me but he was still accusing me of destroying his parking spot! He's not even acting like the guy we grew up with anymore. It's like I don't even know him at all!" I huffed finally sitting up. I pulled my legs in close and hugged my knees tight.

"I'm guessing the gym didn't help?" Liam whispered to Riley. I rolled my eyes at him but didn't say anything else. 

"Maybe you should try actually talking to him and see if anything is going on with him. It may not always be you that's the problem in his life," Riley suggested.

"Yeah, Ken. It's Cal we're talking about here. He's always okay talking to you. Maybe he just doesn't know how to act around you now after everything," Liam pointed out.

"What do you mean," I eyed him.

" I mean you guys both like each other and he was being an idiot and you still haven't forgiven him. But that's between you two. Anyway, what I'm trying to say is that instead of working out your feelings you decided to brush everything off. How do you think he feels?"

"But he used to always be so open with me about things. We have always been able to talk to each other," my voice grew quieter. "Why does admitting feelings have to change things?"

It was true. Maybe that's what I missed the most about hanging out with him. How open and honest we were about things. He was one of my best friends after all.

I finally looked at Liam. He stared at me trying to contemplate what exactly to say to me. His blue eyes mulled in thought. I could tell by the way he began tapping his pencil against the page. We both did things like that when we were thinking. It was a twin thing I guess.

I also hated how right he was. I hated to admit it, but I was brushing my feelings off. I didn't want to feel all of that anymore. Could you blame me? I just wanted things to go back to normal. I guess Cal did too, but I wasn't giving him the chance to feel what he feels.

It was hard to talk about Cal around him since he was so against us being together in the first place. He knew about the dare and that's why he was against it but then he thought Cal had told me when we're weren't speaking. Turns out Liam was wrong and he never asked Cal about it. He never wanted to be in the middle. I respected it, but I wish he would have asked me instead.

"Maybe you should just try apologizing to him. I believe that you didn't do it, Ken, I really do. But put yourself in the situation, you were the only one to use black paint," he paused bracing himself for what he was about to say. "And not to mention the fact you would have a reason to do it, kinda as a way to get back at him."

I could feel the daggers in my eyes form white and hot ready to pierce Liam. Instantly I calmed down it wasn't his fault he was just being honest with me and he was right. If the tables were turned I probably would have blamed Cal too.