Sink or Swim

March

Chapter Song- Fake- Lauv & Conan Gray

"You gotta make a decision soon kiddo. We'll need to buy plane tickets and or put your deposit down. Plus I know Tish will take you shopping, she would love to." My dad was leaning against the counter while I sat at the island facing him.

I was too frazzled to eat my pasta in front of me. For the first time in a long time, I shoved the plate away and threw my head into my hands. I squeezed my eyes shut trying to blink back the tears. I didn't want to cry about this.

"I just don't know what to do dad," I whispered. How was I supposed to know what I wanted?

"Do what you're heart tells you, Ken," he must have picked up the plate because I heard him reaching into the cabinets for Tupperware.

"But what if my heart wants both?"

I was torn. Did I want to go to college even though I had no idea what to study? I got into an amazing school people would kill for. How could I not go? It was a huge opportunity that I would just throw away.

But on the other hand, there was going to help get clean water in different countries. How could I not take that opportunity to help people? To do some sort of good in a way that I'd be able to. I mean college would always be there when I came back right? It might not be a dream school but it would still be there.

"I just wish time could stop or slow down so I could figure it all out," I sighed sitting up. I began to fidget with my fingernails and my dad swatted me. He hated that I was always biting my nails.

"As much as I wish I could tell you what you want I can't. Take some time over spring break to think about it and make a decision okay? That way when you guys come back we'll start planning and getting everything set up," he gave me a light pat on my shoulders and kissed the top of my head. "Have fun tonight be safe."

"Thank you," I smiled.

We were supposed to go laser tagging. I fucking loved laser tagging.

It was my idea to go. Cal had been down for the past few weeks after that dinner with his dad. I'd been trying to spend more time together but I thought tonight would be a good idea too. Something that all of our friends could enjoy and take our minds off of things.

I was just waiting for Riley to get here before we all left. All the boys we're here even Natalie. Cal had been trying to be civil with her since his dad and her mom were having a baby together.

I still found it a little weird about her obsession with him. Especially since their parents were a thing. It was all very strange and I tried not to think about it too much.

All week I had been stressing about the choice I needed to make. The acceptance letters kept staring at me any time I walked into my room. I just didn't know what to do. Riley thought it'd be a good idea to have a little fun with our friends before spring break and that's when I offered laser tag. Even though we were going to Cal's cabin again next week.

Mason and Hayden tried to convince us all to go paintballing but Riley and I would not have it. It's not that we didn't want to go but I'd much rather go laser tagging, it's less painful.

Riley rushed through the door breathless explaining something about dance class brats and how they were ungrateful. I just laughed and nodded pretending to agree with whatever nonsense was happening. We went downstairs to grab everyone and make our way to LaserQuest.

We decided to split up into teams. Riley, Ty, Mason, and I were a team while Cal, Hayden, Liam, and Natalie were. Liam tried to say we were cheating because Ty was really good. So was I but he had Cal and Hayden who I heard were equally as good if not better.