𝐎𝐮𝐭 𝐋𝐨𝐮𝐝

wondering

I was still on a high from last night. That was one of the first times where I got the vibe that maybe he felt the same way that I did, and that gave me so much happiness.

Violet's Outfit

I was in such a good mood, that I wasn't even nervous to practice my duet with Ashlynn today.

As soon as I was ready to leave, I'd decided to drive my brother's old car to school today. That car hadn't been touched since he'd died in April, but today I finally felt brave enough to take it.

As soon as I got in the car, I hooked my phone up into the AUX and blasted the Spring Awakening soundtrack the whole way to school.

My dream school musical to do would be Spring Awakening, but considering that it's all about sex and that there's a song called "Totally Fucked", I doubt that they'd do it. But, maybe now that Miss Jen was our teacher we'd do it, because she's already mentioned three times that she played Lea Michele's character in the touring company of it, so of course she'd want to relive her glory days.

Once I'd gotten to school, I met Ricky in the auditorium because he wanted to practice the dance one more time before he showed it to Carlos.

It was so endearing that he was taking the musical so seriously, because the last person who I'd expect to practice HSM dances for three hours was Ricky Bowen. I mean, we're talking about the same guy who stopped watching The Flash after they had ONE musical episode.

"Hey Ricky".

"Hey. I practiced for another hour last night after you left, so hopefully this is good enough", he said.

I queued up "All In This Together" on my phone and gave him a thumbs up to start dancing.

I was so surprised by how much he'd improved than less than 24 hours. I could really see how hard he had worked on this dance, and I was super proud of him for sticking with it even when it had gotten difficult.

"Yes! Yes! Yes!", I'd shouted when he was done.

"That was so much better! You did so good!", I continued.

"Thanks, it's all because of you though. If you hadn't come over last night to help,there's no way I would've gotten it", he said.

"Nah, it was all you. Miss Jen and Carlos are going to be so happy that you've got the dance down", I said.

His phone buzzed really loudly, "Thanks again, Violet. I gotta go and meet Carlos to show him the dance. See you later", he said, grabbing his bag and rushing out of the auditorium.

I stayed in the auditorium, because Ashlynn would be meeting me shortly so we could practice our duet from Act 2.

"Hey", Ashlynn said when she walked into the auditorium.

"Hey",

We both sat behind the piano, and she gave me a sheet with the lyrics for the choruses and I pulled out the sheet with where I'd written my verses. Ashlynn had written the majority of the song, but I'd contributed in the way of the verses I would sing. She then began playing this beautiful melody on the piano.

Then she began singing. She had an amazing voice, and the sing was so freaking good.

I joined in on the chorus, "If I could go back and change the past, Be a little braver than I have and bet against the odds would I still be lost?.Even if I woke up in my dreams, would there still be something I'm missing, if I had everything, would it mean everything to me?".

Then it was time for my verse, and even though I was super anxious, I was gonna do the best I could do. This verse was super personal to me, and I was gonna sing it with every ounce of confidence I could muster.

Third Person POV:

Ricky walked into the auditorium from the stage door to thank Violet again for all of her help, Carlos had been so impressed by how much he had improved and by how well Violet had taught him, so he had to share that with her.

But, he walked in on Violet and Ashlynn singing, and instead of interrupting, he stood there watching them.

"Feels like I must have broke the best thing that I had I said too much to ever take it back, scared I'll never find something as good, and would I even know it if I could. On the other side of all I've had and lost, would it be enough? Or would I still be wondering?"

Ricky stood there listening for the rest of the song, but Violet's verse was where he'd really listened. He'd known that Violet could sing, of course, because she was famous for randomly breaking into song when they were just hanging out. But he'd never heard her sing something so confidently and so honestly.

You see, Violet had been diagnosed with severe anxiety right after he father had left back in 8th grade. The only person she'd ever told about it outside of her family members was Ricky, because she trusted him more than anyone else in the world, and also, she was super scared that if anyone else found out that they'd think less of her.

Usually, even when Violet was just singing in front of one or two people she was shaky and panicked, but right then she'd sounded more confident than she ever had before.

And, part of it was because Ricky knew that she'd written that verse about everything she'd gone through in the past two years. She'd been through so much, and he'd tried his best to be there for her through all of it, and to hear her sing something that was so honest about what she had gone through made him super proud of her.

Ricky knew he'd felt something when he stood there listening to that song. Yeah he was proud, but it was a little more than that.

Ricky had originally auditioned for the musical for Nini, but as he got deeper into the work of being in the musical, he started to realize that maybe, he truly auditioned for Violet. To get her attention, and to just be with her in general.

Author's Note: Hi, this chapter is kinda sucky, but it's based off of the rest of episode two. I love the song "Wondering", and I think that the version with Olivia Rodrigo and Julia Lester in the show was amazing! I really downloaded that sing to my phone as soon as I finished watching the episode. I chose to replace Nini's verses in the songs with some for Violet, because as soon as I heard the song I knew how it'd fit in with Violet's storyline. I hope you guys enjoyed this, and the next chapter will be up either Friday or Saturday after I watch episode 3 of HSMTMTS.

Lots of love, Beth