'no love Mariano castano .

003

My eyes fluttered open .. I saw Loren staring back at me . Stay away from my boyfriend she spat at me . the fuck bitch I havent even went near him . 'I know you like him you gotta stay away. she looked at me w a cold look . but I wasn't fazed at all . 'or what bitch?' I replied while smirking.

'I'll tell everyone about you and malcoms little interaction'

I couldn't believe she knew about that .. malcoms my ex .. he was my first boyfriend ever . he fucked me and left . After he broke up with me I figured out I was pregnant.. with his child .

Flashback
I was waiting on the doctors bed looking down and starting too wonder if maybe I would ever get malcom back .. I loved him with my everything. And he left me like I was nothing . I heard the doctors footsteps , the door creaked as she opened the door. 'Hello y/n Gomez I would love too congratulate you on your pregnancy but ...your baby is suffering from an illness and we will need you too go through a surgery.. but we need that dad's signature is their anyway you can get that?' I bursted Into tears'n-no'
I stuttered'No how come?'
' the dad left me .and doesn't even know about the baby .'I cried even harder . I wanted the best for the baby I just found out I had in me .. but if I go too malcom I know he won't be very happy bout it .'

2months later

The same doctor walked in crying 'y/n I'm so sorry .. your b-b-baby's dead' I wanted too kill myself at that exact moment.i broke down 'why do things like this happen too me. I never did anything wrong . I've always tried my headrest with everything. Was that just not enough'
As soon as I told malcom our baby died he slapped me . 'Fucking slut' he punched me in the stomach 'kill yourself '

End of flashback

How the fuck do you know about that . I said while crying .

'I have my secrets . Stay away you can leave now  .'
She pointed too a door .
I left .. my first instinct was too call Someone so I called mattia .

I told him . Everything . He never even knew about the malcom situation.
he started too cry ..
'Y/n why didn't you tell me , you didn't have too go through that by yourself . '
I didn't want you too judge me mattia
How could I ever judge for something that wasn't even your fucking fault?
I love you mattia I'm sorry for not telling you .
I love you more leya
(y/ns childhood nickname (;   )

it ain't even worth it anymore .

you left me on my own

I'm too blame

I'm afraid

Please call me malcom please

I deserve every bad thing I get .

It hurts so much .

I want the best for you

But you don't care about me

I probably haven't even crossed your mind

Mattia ran into my room as I was repeating negative affirmations

'I know he hurt you y/n but you don't need him . Don't run back ' mattia softly said in my ear

is that all I am . An object? I said while staring at the floor

No . your one of the funniest most prettiest girls I know . You deserve better . you got me . and even if you don't have malcom you have me Sam and the boys back in New Jersey. '

'I want him back mattia '
'I know you do leya focus on mar.'

'Mar doesn't love me back.He prefers his girl how come I always love the wrong boys . Boys that don't care . Boys that don't even like me back.'

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