It Doesn't Matter, Charlie

Chapter 6 - Locked Out

I gaped at the giant sign in the main hall of the building that said “VIDCON 2012” in huge letters. Underneath was a clock. It said that it was eleven thirty.

“We have an hour before we have to go backstage. Where would you like to begin?” Charlie asked me.

“I have no idea,” I said, spinning around to see all sides of the main hall. “It’s so big!”

He waved his hand and smiled towards a door. I followed close behind him through the doors into the biggest room I’ve ever seen. “Whoa,” was the only thing I could manage to say.

“I know. It’s fantastic, isn’t it?” Charlie looked at me, grinning widely.

“Very,” I said. “What’s out there? Is that a deck?”

Charlie peeked over in front of me to see what I was looking at. “I don’t know. Wanna go check it out?”

“If I didn’t want to check it out, I wouldn’t have pointed it out,” I laughed. “Come on!”

We walked over to the glass doors that led to a deck that looked over an ocean. I pushed the door and it popped open. When I looked back at Charlie, he smiled and motioned his hand, telling me to keep going. I ran out onto the deck and leaned over the edge. Charlie walked up next to me and looked out.

“This is incredible,” I whispered.

“Never seen anything like it,” Charlie agreed.

“Why are we whispering?” I whispered, looking up at him.

“You started it,” he laughed quietly.

“This is actually kind of creepy,” I continued to whisper. “Let’s stop,” I said in normal volume, making myself jump. “Whoa, never realized how loud my voice was!” We both laughed and walked back to the door to go back inside. I grabbed the handle and shook it, but it wouldn’t budge. “Um, Charlie…” I said, looking up at him.

“Oh, shit,” he muttered, trying the door for himself.

“We’re locked out!” I cried. Suddenly, I wanted to laugh. I looked to Charlie, grinning, trying not I laugh.

“It’s not funny!” he said.

“It kind of is,” I snickered. Before I knew it, Charlie was laughing too. We turned and banged on the door as hard as we could, but no one could hear. I gave up and went to sit down, leaning against the bars of the deck. “We’ll just have to wait for someone,” I sighed.

“Stupid one-way doors,” Charlie shook his head, then came to sit down next to me.

“So…” I said awkwardly, “what’s up with you?”

Charlie laughed. “I’m locked out of the place I need to be. The worst part? You’re here,” he joked.

I pushed his shoulder playfully. “Shut up, I’m awesome,” I teased. We sat quietly for a second, staring at the one-way-darkened glass door for signs of life inside, when Charlie turned to me and asked, “So what about that friend of yours?”

“What?” I ask, not having been paying full attention to him.

He shrugged slightly. “You kept mentioning that friend,” he said again. “It’d be nice to know, because you obviously only trusted us because of her - or him - see, I know nothing!”

I bit my lip and looked at the door again. It would be a while before someone found us, probably. “Okay,” I sighed.

“You don’t have too,” he assured me, noticing my hesitancy.

“No,” I said, shaking my head, “I want to. It’s not a long story. Just a hard one, you know?” He looked blankly at me. “Apparently not,” I laughed a little at his confusion.

“No, I think I do,” he nodded, his expression still blank.

“Well, I’m just gonna skip all that sappy ‘We’d been friends since first grade and she inspired me’ stuff and say it. Otherwise, we’d be out here all day,” I told him.

“There’s that much stuff? You must’ve been close,” he said softly, smiling, probably thinking of Alex.

“More than sisters,” I sniffed. I could already feel my eyes getting hot. “She had osteosarcoma,” I blurted, just wanting to say it. “That’s why…The Fault…The Fault in…” I had started sobbing heavily, shaking at the memories from her last days. I could feel Charlie’s eyes on me, not really sure what to do.

“That’s why you like the book so much,” he finished for me.

I nodded, covering my face with my hands. “Last year. She was nineteen…her name was C-Carol,” I told him more details. I tried to keep myself together. I realized then Charlie had seen me cry more in the last two days than I’ve cried in the last year. Then again, I have told him everything, almost.

“Is that why you’ve…you know…hurt yourself?” Charlie asked shyly, as if the words would hurt someone.

I looked up at him and saw his face. It looked so sad. “No, I’ve had bipolar disorder since I was fifteen. I also get anxiety attacks,” I explained softly.

“Oh,” he whispered.

“We are whispering again,” I giggled, my tears ceasing.

“This may be a tough habit to break,” Charlie smiled a bit to the side. I smiled wider and scooted closer to him. Then, almost instantaneously, we were in each others arms, hugging tightly. “Don’t worry,” Charlie whispered into my ear.

“Hmm?” I said, keeping my arms wrapped around his neck.

“I’m not going anywhere.”