Sly Cooper and the Gang

Chapter 1: Violent storms and Cafe Karaoke

It was a very cold and wet Paris evening and the only thing that could be heard was the heavy thud of rainfall as slabs of water slapped the pavement. Sly Cooper sat in a diarrhea green patchwork sofa as he stared at the violent storm outside.

     A loud roar of thunder blasted through the sky and shook the entire room he was in. Sly stared in awe and amazement as the Christmas decorations flew of three houses and gathered in a large tornado down the street, also uprooting a tree in the process. "That's odd," Sly said as the tornado ran past the house.

A door creaked loudly as it unhinged from the door frame and flew outside. Bentley wheeled into the room and surveyed the damage. "wow, that's a lot of damage." He said. Sly turned around and faced him. "Not really. It was just the door. We can go get a new one tomorrow." He said waving his hand casually.

Bentley rolled his eyes, his eyebrows popping up off his head in the process. "It's not that simple Sly! After we buy it we have to attach it, and I know Murray is way to out of shape for that." He said rolling up to the fridge.
     Sly got a confused look on his face. "What do you mean? Murray's literally apart of GLOW." Bentley stared blankly at Sly. "Do you even know what GLOW means?"

     Sly blinked 3 times in a row and said "Grotesque Lads Of Wrestling, right? Bentley shook his head slowly. "Oh brother." He muttered.

     Sly turned his gaze back to the chaos outside. Storms like this had been very popular in Paris since a few months ago. There weren't as many tourists anymore, which led to a bunch of shops going out of business. He watched as bushes and porch decorations got thrown out into the ebony sky. "Oh No!" Bentley Screeched from the fridge.

Sly glanced over at him. "What?" He asked. Bently rose and held up a large empty test tube. "Murray drank all of your most recent urine sample!"

     Sly narrowed his eyes. "My urine sample?" Sly asked clearly confused. Bentley slapped his forehead. "No not YOUR urine sample. I collected it." Bentley said.

     "How did you even get MY urine sample?" Sly said suspiciously. Bentley sighed. "It was just a random day where you had gone to the bathroom without flushing for the 56th time in a row and I thought I would teach you a lesson by collecting your waste and later giving it to you in a wine glass, but I guess I had a change of heart so I decided to keep it for science experiments instead!" He said proudly and put his hands on the side of his wheelchair.

     Sly sighed and looked back out the window. He watched as the rainfall became lighter, and everything that was swept up in the storm got put rightfully back in its place, including the door. The wind subsided and it stopped raining. All the water left on the pavement got sucked into the ground and in just a few seconds no one could have ever guessed that it had rained recently.

"Ahh the storm cleared!" He exclaimed leaping from the couch and hopping out the conveniently open window. "Sly? Sly! Wait! Don't..." Sly heard Bentley yelling as he fell face first towards the ground at break neck speed. At the last minute he twisted around in the air and landed on his feet. He looked around at the bright sunny sky and realized that just a few seconds ago it was the middle of the night. He shrugged and started down the street.

He weaved through the suspicious crowd of people and sauntered up to a large stone building with a half burnt out sign that read 'The Thinking Thievery Cafe' he pulled the door open, and accidentally yanked it of its hinges. "Whops," He said to the voices in his head. He simply tossed the glass door across the street and continued his way into the building.

He walked right up to the front counter and the bartender turned around slowly and smiled " Eh if it isn't Sly Cooper. It's been too long buddy!" The bartender said with a strange New York accent. Sly smiled back, leaned on the counter and said " it really hasn't I saw you yesterday." The bartender bursted out laughing for no reason. "What can I gettcha?" He said once he stopped laughing.

Sly glanced around the room surveying the premises for murder weapons. He turned back to the bartender. "Can I get a medium coffee and a slice of garbage cake pie?" He asked. The bartender smiled and said "Of course man. You can sit at that table well you wait." He said pointing to a table close to a huge window. "Thanks." Sly said as he walked away from the bartender and over to the table.

Once he sat down he looked at the other people in the building. Near the back there was a group of people that looked like they were in a gang, there was a old lady picking at her nails with a large broadsword, there was of course the bartender, there was also a massive man knitting a sweater, and lastly there was a little girl sharpening a large set of throwing knives.

Sly sighed and pulled his iPhone 11 Pro Max out of his pants. He saw that Bentley had texted him. The text read "Don't drink any alcohol Sly! I'm going to have to take another sample later and it must be untainted.☺️🧨👨‍🔬" Sly stared a little confused at the emojis at the end but rolled his eyes and started scrolling through TikTok instead.

He looked up when he realized that he was being served. "Thank you" Sly said as the waitress left. He stared absently as a yeti plowed through the town square and only really started paying attention when he saw that his... well, not really ex girlfriend but not really a girlfriend... it's hard to explain, was one of the cops chasing the yeti. He took a long swig of his coffee and watched as she and the other cops shot energy blasts from their shock pistols.

    Carmelita shot a glance his way and stopped shooting for a second when she saw him, her gaze flying from him, to the sign that clearly stated that he was in a cafe for thieves. Sh quickly turned away and ran after the yeti. Sly sighed and took a bite of his delicious garbage cake pie. "Hey Everybody!" Said a loud voice coming from a speaker. "Do you like karaoke? Well if you do come on over on the stage and sing!"

     Sly fell out of his chair and leapt onto the stage. He stood in front of the microphone, and as the music turned on, he stared singing. "You are. My fiiire. The one. Deeesiire! Believe. When iiii say. I want it that way! Tell me why! Ain't nothing but a heart ache. TEEEELL ME WHYYY!!! Ain't nothing but a miiiistake! Tell me why. I never wanna heeear you saaayyaa. I want it that way."

     The crowd cheered loudly as he continued to sing, though he did hear a few "he skipped half the verse,"s fly around the room. Halfway through his amazing performance, a cop came in, and sly recognized her as Sky, one of the cops that worked with Carmelita.

      She sat down and watched him with un amused expression on her face. Sky then stared around at all the criminals is the room, and Sly thought she was going to try and arrest everyone in the building, but instead she just watched the performance. When Sly finally finished singing, he said "Like the famous words of Elvis Presley, Thank you, Thank you very much."