Conundrum II | JENLISA | On-going

Prolouge

I have always strived for perfection.

Being the only child, all the attention was on me. Boundaries were set to make me the child my parents wanted me to be- a lawyer or a doctor that would uphold the honor of my family. I had to be the best in everything, to work my ass off to achieve the perfection I was always expected to reach.

I used to be that kind of kid, but when I went to New Zealand to study and be free of the chains that bind me, I realized I never wanted to be the lawyer or doctor my mom wanted me to be.

Instead I dreamed the impossible. I stopped following what they want, and started to fight for what I love and that was to perform.

When my mom told me that I could pursue being an idol, I was ecstatic. But again, it wasn't for free. I needed to be the best in the evaluations, be the leader; the ace of the group. And so if I had to be an idol, I had to work my ass off twice as much as I did before.

And it was all going great for me, the other trainees weren't on my level, and being able to speak English also became an advantage.

I was breezing through the evaluation like a storm and who messed with me, ended up going home with their dreams crushed and time wasted.

It was like that- until she came.

With her short-apple hair, baggy clothes, and moves, I knew I was doomed.

I planned to make her my rival, my worst enemy and the only hindrance to what I wanted.

So I strived harder than before, not stopping until I was better than her.

She knew about it even though I didn't show her or made her feel I hated her. She knew I was competitive. She knew I hated it when she's better than me at the evaluations. She knew that sometimes I ignored her on purpose even though I was the only one she talked to. I was her only friend, being the only one who could speak English and communicate with her.

She knew, yet she still gave me the warmest smiles and the most comforting hugs. She cheered for me and slowly, I melted.

Lisa never failed to comfort me when our debut was postponed. She held her ground and acted more mature than I did. Of course Jisoo and Chaeng were also there, but they had their families with them for comfort. While Lisa and I, we only had each other in Korea.

I didn't want to bother my mom about my worries because she would only push me to follow what she wanted for me so I didn't. Lisa's family were too far to comfort her, so we became the haven of each other.

And I was thankful for that. I am always thankful that I met her and she is who she is because if it wasn't for her, I would've crumbled to the ground and left.

I smiled as I gaze her sleeping figure beside me. I reached for her bangs and fixed it. She stirred but kept her eyes close.

I love you.

"Nini," she murmured then slowly wrapped her arms around my waist, slowly tucking me in her embrace.

She sighed and buried her head in my hair.

I inhaled her scent, slowly relishing her sweet perfume drafting through the air and tingling my senses.

I tightened my hold on her and promised myself to never let her go.

I worked my ass off in our evaluations so I would do the same just for me to keep her because I am hers.

And I would like to keep it that way forever.