Why Are You Hiding Your Wings? | Destiel College AU

Stupid Wings

Castiel's POV

Castiel had fallen into an uneasy sleep that night, his mind full of nightmares and his body feeling as if it were on fire. He hadn't been able to take off his trenchcoat since Dean came back. He had looked over at Dean before he fell asleep, praying to the heavens that he could last through this, though he knew it was impossible.

So when he woke up around two o'clock in the morning, he tore at his trenchcoat as he writhed on his bed, his wings straining against their bonds as he went into a panic attack. He barely even felt the pain that ripped through his wings and spine as he tore at the buttons with shaking hands, his breathing becoming heavier by the minute. By the time he got his clothes off, tears were staining his cheeks and muffled sobs were wracking his body.

With a whimper of relief, he stretched his wings out, his black feathers quivering with relief, only for him to grab a pillow and bite down as pain ripped through him again. As he continued to cry and whimper into the pillow, he continued stretching them, his cries becoming louder until he was almost certain he would wake Dean. He couldn't get his left wing even halfway out before he had to pull back though, letting out a gasp as he felt the pain lessen.

He slowly stood, his body in a complete tremor, as he made his way towards the bathroom, using the walls and dressers for support as his legs kept buckling underneath him. His wing brushed against the ground, which made him whimper every time it did so. When he reached the door, leaning against it as he opened the door and leaned in.

The door slammed shut behind him as he leaned against it, making him wince at the noise. He was doing a lot of wincing again. He couldn't move though, the pain making it hard just to stand, so he leaned against the door, sob after sob escaping his lips as he cried harder. It took several minutes before he finally moved to the mirror in front of the counter, leaning on the cold marble heavily.

Castiel flinched under the ragged and swollen that surrounded the joint where the wing bent in the middle, blood caked around the small feathers that covered the bone. He groaned and turned on the water, sticking his hand under it to make sure it's cool. With shaking but careful hands, he began cleaning the blood off the feathers, biting his hand as sobs came through.

"Castiel?" He heard Dean's voice from the other side of the door and froze, tensing in horror, only to let out another sob as the joint shifted. "Cas?!" Dean's voice seemed to grow more panicked as the doorknob turned, the door moving open.

"Don't come in here!" Castiel said in a panic his uninjured wing flying out and hitting the door shut, pushing Dean out. He felt Dean slam on the door, beginning to shout his name. Castiel did his best to ignore him, more tears falling down as he began crying harder and louder, continuing his cleaning.

"Cas, please! Let me in!" Dean shouted, his voice full of concern. Castiel considered letting him in. He needed help, but he knew he couldn't. Michael had made that very clear. So Castiel continued to ignore them, tears falling faster as he begged silently for Dean to stop caring and leave.

The knocking soon settled down, but he could still feel Dean's presence on the other side of the door. The only noise in the rooms were Castiel's cries of pain as he finished cleaning his wing, slumping to the ground as he finished, his gaze swimming as he tried to stop from passing out.