My little life story

2014...

I don't know if I said this already but I'll just say this again.. this cat drug made my memory loss so much, especially on fine detail of certain occasions.  I'll try telling this as best as possible. 

I started studying at the university at the beginning of 2014. BA. Degree in fine art. Gosh I was so excited to start my life after a hell of a 2013. My fisrt semester went by fast and quite well if I can say so myself. Don't get me wrong, life after high school isn't easy at all. I moved out of my mothers house to life in a hostel on campus,  I had to keep my job as a waitress so that I could buy food and other things I needed. I didn't come from a wealthy family and I needed to work for most of the things I wanted and sometimes needed in life. Anyway I moved out and I was finally an individual,  believe me, so very exciting, living on your own, making your own decisions, but unfortunately regret comes to late and you can't turn back time.

First semester passed and I only failed one course, I wasnt to disappointed but I knew I had to work harder, if only I did.

Life for me turned around in the break between the first and second semester. That friend of mine (lets just give him a name: Liam) he came back into my life with his drugs and all his anger. He gave me the affection I wanted but yeah he hit me and called me names and now here where I sit I have no self image to show, I try but I think of myself as a worthless piece of shit about 80% of the time.

Things got worse by the minute,  Liam started stealing from his father for drugs, he started selling expensive things, and I was in the middle. I had the transport and places to 'chill' but even though he would get his fix, something would piss him of and I would end up his punching bag. This would go on for days till theres no other way to get money and he would have his breakdown from not getting his 'fix'. Believe me I didn't have it easy at all. I also got angry but only at him, I would breakdown because I couldn't handle  the pressure Liam put on me to get money, only at that time I lost my job and I was in and out of my mother's house, I ate whenever Liam bought food which was at the most two times a day... Gosh..

  Liam's father has bipolar disorder but he denies it always, he also has anger management but he doesn't do anything to deal with it because he obviously denies it. When he found out that Liam was stealing money and selling his things he would threaten me and he occasionally kicked Liam out, thats when things would get rough. Because I stayed in a hostel Liam couldn't stay with me. My parents hated hom for what he did to me so he couldn't stay there either, and all those supposed friends he had never wanted to help him, so I would stay up with him all night till he could get hold of his mother to get him. At one stage he was without a bed for three days, and that killed me, the fact that I couldn't help him out. He would eventually be able to go home again, but not after the fight of the year between his parents, myself and him of course. This went on for about three months, a everyday cycle, and I was afraid it would never end.