Stevie hadn’t bothered to go down to the breakfast room later that morning, she couldn’t bear to deal with the looks of her friends and the rest of the band, there’s no way the word hadn’t spread about the ordeal with Carol. Mostly, she couldn’t bear to see Lindsey. She was feeling too raw for that. Instead, she’d waited until they were supposed to leave for the airport and only then did she leave her room. She had managed to get to her limo without even laying eyes on him. Unfortunately, that plane would prove to be more difficult. Of course, it wouldn’t be the first time she and Lindsey had to sit on the same plane when things weren’t good between them.
Lindsey stared out the window of his limo. The world outside became a blur as he replayed the morning he’d had with Stevie over and over again in his mind. Every time he thought about what he’d said to her, he felt sick. How could he even bring up their baby in that manner? He knew how much they had suffered over what had happened.
“Are you listening to me?” Carol’s voice brought him out of his daydream.
“What…?”
“Jesus Christ, Lindsey. I said I want you to get me a plane to Los Angeles. I need to go home. Even though I should probably go with you to New York to make sure mega whore doesn’t get her claws –
“Shut the fuck up.” Lindsey growled through gritted teeth. “..Just shut your mouth. I’ll get you a flight back when we get to the airport, alright? Just don’t talk to me for the rest of the ride. I don’t feel good.”
“You know, you’re a real asshole. Whatever.” She replied. They didn’t speak for the remainder of the journey. They finally reached the airport and Lindsey asked John Courage to get Carol a flight back to LA. He was more than relieved that she was going back home, even if only for a few days. He wanted to make things right with Stevie and there’s no way he could have done that with her presence.
Stevie had settled into the far side of the plane with Robin and a few of the other girls. She couldn’t help but watch the door of the plane, waiting for him to appear with his leech of a girlfriend. She hated that term. It made her sick that someone else was labelled “Lindsey Buckingham’s girlfriend”. Yes, Stevie had wanted her own relationship with Lindsey to end. She needed breathing space but she never thought it would be a permanent thing. More of a break than a break-up but then he showed up with Carol, hell bent on proving that he didn’t need her anymore. Even though Stevie knew she could never really be replaced in Lindsey’s heart, it hurt her to see him trying so hard to do so.
Lindsey walked onto the plane looking disheveled and exhausted. It didn’t go unnoticed, especially by Stevie, that he was alone, a rarity these days. He walked through the plane, engaging in short conversations with a few of the entourage. It was very obvious to most people that he wasn’t interested in conversation so they left him alone; it wasn’t exactly an unusual response from Lindsey. He took his seat and ordered a whiskey from the attendant, knowing better than to try to talk to Stevie just yet.
Throughout the flight, Stevie would glance in Lindsey’s direction secretly hoping to meet his eyes, even though she was furious and upset with him, something in her would always want to reach out to him when they were fighting.
“Hey, are you okay? You’re quiet today” Robin said, putting her hand on Stevie’s.
“I’ve been better. I know you don’t even need to ask what the reason is, Robin” Stevie replied, smiling sadly. Robin nodded in the direction of Lindsey. “I could take about three guesses, all of which begin and end with Lindsey. I’ve been around you two long enough. What is it this time?”
Stevie explained all about it being their thirteenth “anniversary”, what had happened the night before and most importantly what had happened that morning. She had of course started crying during her conversation with her best friend but knew that Robin is the only one who could offer her any kind of helpful and honest advice.
“Okay, as much as I want to slap the shit out of Lindsey for what he said to you, I also know the guy well enough to know that what he said is killing him right now. You only have to take one look at him to know that. If it were any other man who said that to you, he’d be dead as far as I’m concerned. I’m by no means taking his side, but I’ve known the ins and outs of your relationship with him since you were 16 and 17. I was there for your first argument.. about where to park at the movie theater, remember?”
Stevie laughed at the memory, “God, you’re right. You were and you called him a jerk. Maybe I should have known back then…”
“That’s right, I did!” Robin continued “and do you remember what you said to me when I called him that? You said “Yes, but he—“
“Loves me like no other” Stevie interrupted her friend. Robin smiled and nodded. “He does and you know that. You guys have travelled a long way together. Your life is so different now but some things remain the same. All I’m asking, as someone who loves you both, is that you talk to him. Not now, but later when you’ve both rested. Don’t let this fester.”
They had all arrived in New York and each member had taken their cars to the hotel. Stevie had seen Lindsey when she arrived, talking to one of the road crew about where the best place to keep his guitars would be. She’d had her assistant bring her luggage to the room, while she went to the bar for a quick drink with some of the others. Lindsey was nowhere to be seen. After about an hour or so, she decided it was time to head up to her room and get herself rested in preparation for the show later that night. She opened the door, only to hear it scuff against something on the floor. She looked down to see a Polaroid on the ground. She picked it up and looked at it, her breath catching in her throat at the sight of an 18 year old version of herself lying in the arms of a 17 year old Lindsey. She turned the photograph over and noticed his familiar scrawl.
Stephanie,
You will always be the girl in this picture to me and underneath it all, I’m still that boy.
I’m so sorry. Please don’t give up on us completely. We owe it to them.
I’ll love you always,
Linds
