One week later
Somehow, they had survived the final week of the US tour and everyone was back in the respective homes. Stevie and Lindsey hadn’t spoken after the fight at breakfast. Despite his attempts, which included standing outside her room yelling after consuming an entire bottle of whiskey, she had avoided him at all costs except for when they were on stage. It had been atmospheric to say the least. Stevie knew that this was the worst thing she could possibly do considering she was pregnant. Things couldn’t disintegrate between them completely; she had to think of her child that would need its father. Not only that, but she loved him and truthfully didn’t want to be without him. She was aware that if she’d just told him, perhaps things wouldn’t have turned out the way they did at breakfast last week. If he’d known she was pregnant, he wouldn’t have to even think twice about ending things with Carol.
As she sank into the bathtub, Stevie began thinking about every “what if” she possibly could. The same “what ifs” that she’d thought about every night since she found out she was pregnant and those thoughts had only increased in the past week. What if Lindsey’s reaction was the opposite to how she hoped when she told him? What if he questioned whether or not he was the father? She already knew that he still held a sense of distrust towards her. What if the band were angry? Stevie was also concerned with how she would cope being on tour while being pregnant. The drinking and drugs that went hand in hand with her lifestyle on tour were really the only things that kept her sane while on the road and those two things weren’t a possibility if she wanted their baby to be healthy. She thought about the kind of mother she’d be and if it was right bringing a baby into her crazy world. But above all else, Stevie’s main concern was something that plagued her mind ever since a few years ago – what if she miscarried again? She couldn’t go through that loss another time and neither could Lindsey.
Stevie got dressed and walked down the stairs and through her house to the kitchen. She loved her house but the place seemed bigger than usual and she couldn’t help but feel a sense of loneliness as she looked around it. This was a common feeling when she took a break from tour, she’d spent months surrounded by people and distractions but now she was alone with her thoughts. The shrill ring of the phone startled her and she stood by it, hesitant about answering it. But she did.
“Hello?”
“Don’t hang up.”
She was quiet for a moment.
“Okay. Talk. ”
“I want to see you, Stevie. We can’t keep on doing this. Please. I’m going up to the Bay to see Mom today but I’m going to be back tonight. Can I please stop by your house?” His voice was sincere and she knew he was right.
“Yes, you can. I’ll be awake late. Come by whenever.” She tried to keep emotion from showing through in her voice, not wanting to give anything away as to how she was feeling.
“Thank you. I’ll see you then.”
“Okay.” She replied quickly, setting down the receiver. Looking at the clock, she saw it was 10am. It was going to be a long day, waiting on his arrival and she already had a headache. She walked into the living room and sat on the couch, wrapping a blanket that she’d kept from the house Lindsey and she had lived in in San Francisco around her shoulders. Laying her head down, she drifted off with her hand placed protectively across her stomach.
Lindsey pulled into the drive way of his mother’s house. The same house he’d grown up in and immediately felt a wave of calm wash over him. He’d been everything but calm over the past few months, so he definitely needed this. His mother, Rutheda, greeted him at the door.
