It's Complicated (Shawn Mendes Fanfic)

Chapter Twenty

Shawn crouched down next to my bed, completely ignoring the chair Kay was sitting on. Oh well.

"You feeling alright? When I got the call, I got scared since it wasn't you calling, it was someone else. I'm glad you are okay," Shawn confesses and I place my hand over his, which was at the edge of the bed. 

His hand tensed at the touch, but he relaxed and his hand felt so warm under mine.

"Sorry I scared you. I-You were just avoiding me and.." I trailed, not knowing where to begin. "I'm sorry if it seemed that way, I wasn't ignoring you I was just really busy," Shawn said. I must have looked skeptical because he breathed heavily, "I promise."

I believe him. College can get pretty stressful, and I get it. "Ooh did the people like your song?" I asked excitedly as I sat up from the bed, my hand still on his.

He smiled widely at me, "They loved it, thank you for your help," he said gratefully. Flashbacks of what almost happened that day make me blush, but I pushed them away as he spoke again.

"Enough about me, is it really the Kay you were talking about?" Shawn asked with disbelief and I smiled to myself.

"Yeah, it's crazy right?! I guess that wishing fountain you took me to was magical after all," I say meeting his eyes.

Shawn just hummed in response as we locked eyes again. I sucked in air as I looked deep within his chocolate brown eyes.

If you get close enough, you can see little specks of gold in his chocolate eyes, which make me so drawn to them. 

I hadn't realized how close we were until he stretched out his hand to tuck a piece of hair behind my ear to keep it away from my face.

I didn't even think as I crashed my lips onto his. He froze for a moment but quickly responded as his lips moved against mine. I felt a burning sensation envelope my entire body, nothing like I've never felt anything like this before, and I don't want it to ever end.

I deepened the kiss and he pulled me closer to him. I wrapped my hands around his neck and he pressed his body against mine, cupping the side of my face.

I was the one to finally break the kiss as I gasped for air. Wow. That was surreal-unlike anything I've ever felt, and I just wanted to kiss him again.

"I-" Shawn said, unable to find words at the moment. "Dammit," he said under his breath as he cupped my face and kissed me again. Unlike the last kiss, which was passionate, this kiss was full of desperation. 

His intoxicating lips felt so right against mine, and I never want to let go of him. 

His hands on my shoulder made my skin tingle and I felt like I was on fire. He reluctantly pulled away and I scooted from the hospital bed I was in so he could sit with me.

He kissed me. Twice. This doesn't even seem real. I could still feel my lips tingling from what happened seconds ago. Shawn looked at me and I blushed a little.

We didn't speak, but Shawn sat down next to me and I leaned onto him, resting my head on his shoulder. He smiled at me and I-

We heard a knock and the door creaked open to reveal a fairly old man in a white coat with a clipboard. Shawn proceeded to get off the bed but I placed my fingers in his and he remained put. I can't lie and say that I didn't feel fireworks when our skin met.

"Hello Ms. Falls, I am Dr. Green, if you don't mind I would like to ask you a few questions," the doctor said kindly and I nodded and smiled at him.

"Can you tell me what happened exactly before you had your panic attack?" He asked, holding the pen ready to write on his clipboard.

I let out a long sigh and Shawn squeezed my hand reassuringly, as I spoke.

"My best friend and I were hanging out at the coffee shop. Then he told me that-he.. He said something to me and I was shocked and scared. And then I felt overwhelmed and dizzy and everything went black," I finish.

 I couldn't tell the doctor what Kay told me because I couldn't wrap my head around the fact that he said that. He must have meant it some other way, or not meant it at all.

 I also felt uncomfortable saying it when Shawn was present. It just didn't seem right.

"Okay thank you. You are free to go, I've just prescribed some sleeping medication that your friend recommended for you. I also want to make sure that you know the steps to calm yourself down when in a panic attack?" Dr. Green asked and I nodded.It's hard to think about that when you are in the midst of a panic attack.

"Okay well you two have a good day," he says as he leaves the room. I remove my hand from his, instantly missing the warmth as I get off the bed. Shawn does the same.

"Well I guess I'll see you later," Shawn says as he placed his hands in his pockets and waved before leaving the room.  Kay entered shortly after.

I hopped off the bed, and walked over to him. "Hey, I think we should talk," I say and he gulps nervously. "Sure when we get home?" Kayden suggests and I agreed.

The walk home was filled with awkward silence. We were both dreading the conversation we were about to have, about what he had said at the coffee shop. I wish I could ignore it and just move on, but we had to address it sooner or later. I'd rather get it over with now.