It's Complicated (Shawn Mendes Fanfic)

Chapter Fifty-seven

Shawn's birthday was today, and I just knew I had to surprise him. Early in the morning, I creeped into his house and swung the bedroom door open.

I had a huge smile on my face, as I had gotten him something he wanted for a very long time. I'm so excited for him to see it!!

When I open the door, my smile drops.

I let out a large gasp and my gift falls to the floor. Shawn and Camila. Fucking. Right in front of me. 

I scream but I can't hear myself. I can't hear anything.

They don't even notice my presence, and my screams drown in their moans of pleasure.

Shawn and I make eye contact, and he smirks, pushing deeper into Camila, making her moan and arch her back, oblivious to me. I was frozen in place, and all I could do was watch.

Watch this monstrosity.

My eyes jolted awake, and I desperately reached to my side for Shawn's body to hug and reassure. The only thing I touched were the cold bed sheets.

I get out of bed and shiver slightly. What the hell was that dream about? Why did that ever cross my mind? The visual pictures still haunted me.

There was an empty glass and bottle of something on the nightstand, but I was too tired to care.

I noticed the chilly breeze pass from the patio and I step in the direction. The sliding glass patio doors were pulled open all the way, and I saw Shawn standing next to the edge, lost in thought.

"Shawn," I spoke softly, not wanting to scare him, "Why are you up?" He turned to me, his eyes puffy as though he'd been crying. His greenish brown eyes glistened in the night sky, and an unknown magnetic force pulled me to them.

"Couldn't sleep. Why are you up?" He asks me. I look away, the memory still fresh in my mind. "I had a nightmare." 

We heard crickets chirping in the distance,  as none of us spoke, as if waiting for the other to.

"I- I'm just exhausted. I don't want to live in the spotlight anymore. Music is truly my passion, and I'm so grateful for being able to do what I do every single day, but it's too hard to keep up with this reputation. This perfect image that everyone expects you to be. And there's always this worry that I'm not good enough. That maybe this next album isn't better than the last. People won't like it. Then my whole world will be flipped upside down, and everywhere I go, people will hate me."

"I can't live this way anymore. When I was younger, all I wanted to be was famous. Now, all I want to do is go back to my old life. I guess us humans really do always want what we can't have." He lets out a frustrating sigh, staring at the stars.

He's opening up to me. About everything. My hand finds his, and I intertwine my fingers with his, sending him a reassuring squeeze. He sends me one back.

"Hey. It's okay. It's not wrong for you to feel this way. It's a miracle how you dealt with it all this time. Trust me, we'll find a way. I want you to be happy, and this," I wave my hands around him, "Is just not it. We'll find a way, I promise you." 

My words seemed to comfort him, because he smiles, leaning into me. "Thank you. I needed that." My lips curved upwards into a smile.

My turn to open up..

"My nightmare..it was your birthday, and I was going to surprise you. I barged into your room without warning," I say, looking away from his handsome face, "and I- You-" 

Tears threaten to spill out of my eyes, but I can't help but act like a big baby. He squeezes my hand three times- the universal meaning of "I Love You."