You Know You Love Me

The Usual Drill

    Clonk, clonk, clonk. “Your Royal Highness, the beast is here!” the muffled voice of a guard shouted from behind the door. 

    The princess turned from her wooden vanity to look at the door, “Wha-?”

    Clink, clink, clink. “Oh Princessssss!” an only slightly muffled voice thundered from outside. 

    The princess whipped around to look at her window, “Oh. The beast.”

    “It’s important that you promptly unlock your door,” the guard writhed with the door knob. 

    “Ye know tha drill,” a massive finger banged on the window again. CLINK, CLINK, CLINK. She drug her feet to the window before unlocking it and cracking it just enough for one of his fingers to fit through. She took a few steps back and let him pull open the window the rest of the way. He shoved his hand through to grab her. She jumped behind her bed. 

    “Not so fast, giant. If I’m going, then I’m going by my own will.” she huffed. The hand removed itself from her room just as the doorknob snapped off of the door. The guard burst into the room and grabbed the Princess’ arm, attempting to pull her out. She firmly held her ground. 

    “Your Royal Highness, I must get you out of here!” the guard insisted. An eye appeared at the window. 

“‘Get ye outta here’?” he snorted, “Ye know tha deal, shortie. Ye’re either comin’ wit’ me, or a few of yer lil people might have t’become snacks.” She begrudgingly preceded to the window, dragging the unrelenting guard with her. 

“Pret!” the guard channeled his strength into yanking her back, removing all formalities a guard should show a princess.

“You heard him. Let go of me!!” Pret snapped.

“What if he-?” the guard began to argue.

“I'm gettin’ impatient, morsel…”

“I know he won’t eat me, but he might eat my people,” she interjected. 

“Tha smell o’ yer people's fear is makin’ me hungry.”

“What if he does?” the guard challenged. 

“Then hopefully he won't be interested in a second course of my people,” she smiled grimly. Her arm merely slipped out of his grasp as she walked away.

“And the Royal Majesty?” the guard called. 

“I was long gone before you even arrived,” she took a step out of the window, dropping out of sight.

            …

 A firm hand carried her out of the village and through the forest. 

“Ye took yer sweet time t’have an overly dramatic scene wit’ yer prince charming,” he muttered bitterly as they approached a series of over-sized cottages.

“He's just a long time friend,” she huffed, “Are you jealous or something?” 

He entered one of the cottages and walked into a bedroom, “Maybe a lil,” he flopped down onto an equally over-sized bed, making her dizzy and disorientated. She took a moment to settle herself after he deposited her on his chest.

“We're never happening, Lachlan.” 

“Never say ‘never’,” Lachlan warned. 

“You're obnoxious,” she rolled her eyes. 

“I'm persistent,” he corrected.

“You meant ‘stubborn’,” she snorted. She sprawled herself out over him, letting the frills of her red dress and her long, black hair spill out around her. While she was being held captive, she wasn't exactly unwilling. He was obviously crushing on her, and she was secretly crushing on him. 

His species, Giants, always lived and acted quite ferally, so she never once doubted his threats. She could definitely see him eating her people if she didn't spend time with him. He was portrayed as a ferocious, man-eating beast, but realistically he was an overgrown brat who ate people when he didn't get his way.

Giants were human connoisseurs. High class humans were delicacies to them. A princess was a score, especially since this one wasn't the run of the mill, curl up into a little ball and cry type of princess. She was feisty and had a concealed dagger strapped to her leg. She had stabbed him in the roof of his mouth, and from that moment on, he was fascinated with her. 

“That hurt, lass,” he pouted, hating the word ‘stubborn’. 

“Do you know what also hurts? Being eaten.” she smacked her lips together.

“What did I do t’deserve this lecture? I've purposely stayed away from yer lil morsels for ye, so unless yer morsels have been strayin’ near Ralli, then they should all be alive.” he protested. 

“What the hell, Lachlan?!?! Ralli is literally our greatest ally!” she flipped over onto her stomach to glare at him.

“Oh c'mon. I've only snacked on a few...dozen or so.” 

“LACHLAN!” 

“Fine, fine. I won't eat any more morsels from Ralli. But all I'm saying is if ye're goin’ t'be edible, then I should be allowed t’eat ye lil things.” he argued. She glowered at him. “Who do ye want me t'eat then?”

“No eating people!” she ordered. 

He cackled, causing her to bounce up and down, “Ye're funny, shortie. But it's either yer people or someone else's.”

“Are you seriously making me condemn some innocent people to death?” her mouth gapped. 

“Well when ye say it like that, it sounds bad,” he whined. 

“Because it is bad!”

“Oh bah~” he dismissively waved his hand at her. 

“This is why we're never happening,” she sat back up. 

“Never say ‘never’,” he began to purr like a cat, causing the ground underneath her to vibrate. Yes, giants purr when they're happy. 

“I'm actually supposed to be on a date with a prestigious lord right now,” she crossed her arms. 

“That's why ye're all spackled up,” he smacked his lips together, “Personally, I think ye look better without makeup ‘n’ a'll that frill. Yer a pretty lass. It's a shame ye hide it.” He drug his fingers through his blonde fauxhawk.

“Whatever,” she murmured, splatting down onto his chest. His hand draped over her backside, and his thumb stroked the top of her back. “I hate you,” she buried her face into his chest. 

“Ye know ye love me.”