The Re-Awakening

Tobias

It's late at night. I don't know the exact time, but I don't care. All I know is that it's dark and the lights in this room need to turn on now. Time has no meaning to me anymore. It's dark sometimes and light sometimes, nothing more.

Tris's hand is still limp in mine. Her eyes are still shut, but she's still breathing. Christina told me that they are planning to unplug Uriah in two days if he doesn't wake up. I wish he would. I wish I wouldn't have been so stupid. I wish Tris didn't go in the weapons lab instead Caleb. I wish I wish.

Caleb visited yesterday. His eyes were blotchy red and his hair was in a toppled mess. Disgusting.

"What do you want?" I bark at him.

"I just want to see my sister." He replies defensively. I roll my eyes at him. Caleb is an idiot.

He doesn't walk all the way to the front of the bed, he just lingers by the foot of the bed starring at her. 

"She told me something." He says after a while. His voice brakes. "Something she wanted me to tell you, if she...didn't make it." I stare at Tris, not wanting to see Caleb's face as he talks. My heart starts to beat faster. "She wanted me to tell you that she didn't want to leave you." Tris didn't want to leave me. She won't. My heart is beating hard against my rib cage.

I still don't look at him.  I don't want to see if he cares about her now after she risked her life to save him even after he planned to kill her. Tris deserved a better brother, she deserved so much more than she got. 

I hear crying at the foot of the bed but I don't dare look at him. It feels like forever before he leaves the room.

****

Christina left to go to bed a little while back. I don't really sleep anymore. I can't sleep anymore. 

I haven't talked to Evylen in the past three days. We had to send Amar to go and get her because I won't leave Tris's side. I have no clue what she's doing.

Why won't she wake up? I can't wait any longer. I can feel tears pooling in my eyes and I loose it. I sob hard and fall to my knees, head in hand. It feels like the first night all over again. I feel all hope of her waking draining out of me. I've failed her. I wasn't there to help her when she needed me, and that is something I will regret everyday. 

I feel a hand softly touch my shoulder, so softly I barely feel it. It's probably Christina, so I should probably stop crying, but I can't. I keep my head cupped in my hands. 

"Tobias." I hear a small voice croak. It's that voice again, the one that cried for help while dangling from the Ferris wheel. The one that proved me wrong so many times before. The voice that helped me through my fear landscape and defended me from Marcus countless times.

My head shoots up. I see her beautiful blue eyes pooling up in tears. "Don't cry Tobias. You're going to make me cry," she says in her cute, beautiful voice that I love. I laugh a little as I shoot straight up and press my lips firmly against hers. I've been waiting to do that again for what feels like forever. I missed having her soft sweet lips against mine. 

When I pull back she's gasping for air. I rest my hand on her cheek and I can feel the warmth in them, and I smile for the first time in three days. I forgot how good it feels to smile. She catches her breath and looks up at me. Tears are sprouting from our eyes but I don't care, and she doesn't care. She's awake and all I want to do is hold her in my arms. I kiss her again, slower this time. She holds onto my chin, her fingers lightly touching them. I pull back a little and say against her cheek, "I love you Beatrice."

She whispers back to me, "I love you Tobias."