Okay, so I was thinking really hard about what I should rant about today when my brother fucking screamed in my face and I slapped him in response.
As people may know, I love horror - movies, video games, books, ANYTHING!
Scream, The Grudge, Amnesia, and other scary shit are my shit, but there is one horror movie that I can absolutely not stand: Chucky.
Sit down and shut up children, and I shall tell you about the day I was traumatized because of that bastard.
(HOLY SHIT THE LIGHTS JUST FLICKERED AS I SAID THAT SOMEBODY HOLD ME T^T)
I was about five years old - I was a preschooler.
A preschooler.
Anyway, I was fast asleep in my bed until I heard some noise coming from downstairs. Like the curious little brat I was, I went downstairs to investigate and found my parents sitting in the living room with friends of theirs. From the way the couch was positioned, they couldn't see me unless they look directly behind them, so I was in the clear.
I walked up behind the couch, still out of their sight, and stood on my tippy-toes to see what the duck they were doing. At that exact moment, the fucking bastard doll known as Chucky showed up on the screen in the drivers seat of a garbage truck. I was shocked, but made no move and was quickly mesmerized by the psychotic look of the doll. In the next few moments, a man starts screaming from inside the garbage truck and reaches his hand out. This was a bad move, buddy, because Chucky fucking CLOSES THE GARBAGE TRUCK TOP DOOR THINGY WHICH CUTS OFF HIS HAND.
What did I do?
I WAS A FUCKING PRESCHOOLER AND THAT FUCKING TRAUMATIZED ME - I RAN FOR THE MOTHERFUCKING HILLS.
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i was originally gonna put a witty joke here, but im just gonna say that my birthdays next week and you should all wish me happy birthday kthnxbai
xx deedee
YOU ARE READING
shut up child; it's storytime
Humor[deedee's rants + real life stories] attention: the following rant book is going to totally kick ass. if you are offended by anything in this book - fuck off then
