Helpless: A Crankiplier fanfic

What does that mean?

Ethan's POV

Mark: Wait.

I turned around to look at him and he was giving me this certain look. I didn't know what it meant. He was still holding on to my wrist. we stared at each other for a few seconds then finally he said,

Mark: Why are leaving? We barely have gotten to talk since you've been here.

He then let go of my wrist. I looked down at the ground. What was I supposed to tell him? That i'm in love with him and I hate being alone with him because it hurts? I hate lying, but I have to. For the sake of our friendship and me and Amy.

Before I could say anything he grabbed my chin with his pointer finger and thumb and made me look him in the eye. It made my heart stop.

Mark: Ethan, if... If somethings wrong please tell me.

His eyes were full of sadness and worry. I had been, well not ignoring him but staying away more than usual. He knows I struggle with depression. I didn't want him to overthink.

Me: I'm fine Mark seriously. I'm just tired and want to go to bed.

I then turned around and tried to open the door to leave but he didn't let me. He turned me around and pinned me against the door looking me right in my face. His voice grew higher when he started to talk. Not yelling per say but fussing.

Mark: No your not. You have been really distant lately whats going on?

Shit. He noticed. This time I didn't lie, I told the truth. Just a different version. Mark didn't know I was gay, I didn't want to tell him because I didn't want him to think of me differently. He never said he was against it. He's just never said his opinion.

Me: I'm.. I'm in love with this person.

He tensed up still pinning me to the door and I paused before saying the last part. I knew he would never love me but I didn't want to hear it out loud.

Me: and they don't like me back... they never will.

My eyes teared up as I said that. I couldn't help it. I loved him so much. I never wanted anyone so badly. I could feel the heat of his body close to mine almost touching but not. It made me want to cry more. I wanted him to touch me but not in this way.

Mark: Have you told them yet?

Me: No they're with someone.

I started crying harder. Again he lifted my chin but this time he was looking at my lips. He was so close.

Mark: You should tell them.

He whispered in my ear.

Mark: They will probably like you too, if you would just let them know.

Me: How do you know?

I said in a bitter voice. I guess in a way I was mad and jealous and it came out without me wanting it too.

Mark: I just do.

He said getting closer. Before he could do anything else I pushed him off of me as hard as I could. Tears streaming down my face. He didn't know anything.

Me: You don't know a damn thing about my situation!

I yelled. He looked shocked because I had never raised my voice with him before. I turned around and opened the door walking out crying as hard as I ever had. 

Mark: Ethan wait!

He called after me. I didn't want to hear it. I had to get out of here. He ran after me as I walked away from him.

Mark: You shouldn't be driving right now!

He tried to explain. Then I saw Tyler, Amy, and Katherine walking towards the house with the food they had just got. Katherine smiled and said,

Katherine: Hey Eth-

She then stopped her sentence when she saw I was crying and Mark shouting at me that I didn't need to drive like this. I was so done. I just wanted to leave.

I got in my car and left without saying anything. I wanted to die. To just stop feeling this way.

I looked back in the mirror and saw mark in the road looking after me. Bad mistake. When I turned my attention back to the road, a car honked and then before I could stop It rammed me in the side. I blacked out. The last thing I remembered was opening my eyes to find myself hanging upside down. I thought I heard Mark calling my name. 'Not right now' I thought to myself 'I need to sleep mark'. I then let myself drift back into darkness once more.

( Author's note: Just to let you know the chapters are going to be short but it's not gonna change the length of the whole thing. Thanks for reading if you have gotten this far I hope you enjoy.)