Look Me In The Eye [Solangelo]

Chapter 2

 There was no salvaging the party after that, but they tried anyway. The rest of Hazel's friends introduced themselves, surprisingly none of them ran after their friend. It kind of pissed Nico off, but hey, what did he know about a complete stranger? Everyone made small talk with each other as Nico realized for the first time that grey was actually an eye color, that not everyone with light irises had blue eyes. It was much less exciting than it could have been. Having Will look at him in terror and then walk out might have put a damper on his mood.

Nico left early, slipped out the back trying not to ruin anything else. It didn't work, he realized, as the door fell shut again after Hazel stepped outside.

"He seemed nice," he joked. "Is he on the track team or something? He was out of here pretty quick."

Hazel didn't laugh. "I didn't think this would happen," she said. "I thought if anything Bianca, maybe, I had no idea either of you—"

"Gotta love the heteronormative eye, right?" his voice was dry. "I should have told you."

"No. I should have asked."

He laughed. "No. Because it was none of your business." He sunk into her porch swing and their shifting weight made it sway lightly.

"Hazel?" His eyes were squeezed shut. "When you met Frank and...How did he react?"

The dull picking of her nails betrayed her nerves. "We were both. It...It didn't happen like this."

He sighed. Of course it didn't. This was a shitty plot twist out of some bs YA novel. When he opened his eyes, his breath hitched.

"Pretty cool, right?" she asked. He kept looking at the sky. "That's how I felt the first time I saw my mom after I met Frank."

Her mouth pulled into a frown. "I told him to leave. Before we came in, Will got really nervous. He's got a lot of anxiety about the soulmate thing and I told him he could leave. If it was Bianca. That she could take it," she said. "I didn't know it would be you."

He inhaled and tried not to notice how the cerulean burned his retinas. God, he loved it.

"I understand." Nico didn't look at her.

All the air left her body. "Please, Nico, please don't be upset. I never meant for this to happen."

He could pretend like he wasn't absolutely shattered. It wouldn't be the first time. It wasn't like she planned this. He pushed up from his seat.

"I love you. Go...Go find Will. He looked like he was having a panic attack when he left. I'm going to need him to be okay if I ever want him to warm up to me."

She nodded up at him. This was supposed to be her party and he'd all but ruined it.

"I'll take you to Red Lobster for fucking up your graduation party later," he said. "But maybe give Will my number when you find him?" his voice got quiet. "I'd love to hear from him."

He crossed through the path on the side of the house so he didn't have to walk through a house full of people to get to his car. He wanted to go home so badly. He wanted to go home and collapse and not think about the blank look on his soulmate's face as he ran out. The only thing stopping him was the color of his walls.

***

When Will woke up, he found himself curled up on the rug next to his bed, fingers digging into the plush strands of it.

He remembered hyperventilating, his chest constricting, his head starting to feel light and his fingers going numb. He remembered plugging in his headphones and turning on Blind Melon's No Rain. He remembered pulling at the carpet so he didn't rip out his hair—he didn't remember falling asleep. But then, he never did.