Bruises (Luke Hemmings fanfic)

not real

Just lay there, pretend that isn't real....

Just keep your eyes closed and act like none of this is real. I'm not laying in Lucas Hemmings' bed... they aren't here. I'm not with 5SOS...

"Diana?"
Ignore them. If you go back to sleep, you'll wake in your own bed... you'll be back to normal and this won't be real...

"Diana... I'm sorry... can we talk?"

I open my eyes to find Lucas' blue eyes looking back at me.
Don't say a word, Diana. If you say nothing than maybe Lucas will leave you alone, let you free...

"I didn't mean for you to feel... like a prisoner...." he lays a plate of food on my lap. There's a biscut on it, sausage, and bacon, and a little bowl of orange slices. He sets a glass of apple juice beside me on a table. "I'm so sorry... I managed to get ahold of your parents... I didn't tell them about the cutting... your dad says he thinks it'll be good for you to be out with us..."

"I..."

"It's your choice. I won't make you but I really want you to join us."
Say no. Here's your way out of this. Away from them, away from the pain and away from the struggle and hiding. I don't care about how much I love their music... this is my freedom... "I.... I... alright..."  WHAT JUST CAME OUT OF MY MOUTH?! What just... what did I just say? What came out of my mouth? Oh God...

"Really?" His eyes brightened amazingly and he seems so happy.

"I..." already said I would... already promised... I can't break my promise. "...yes.. "

He perks up. "Great! Can I hug you?"

"I-if you want..."

He hugs me. "You won't regret this!"
I already do wannabe rockstar. I'm not staying around long. You can't save me!

His arms are strong, and oddly comferting. He gives me a gentle squeeze, as if to soothe me. Can he tell how scared I am?

"You'll have fun I promise!"
How can you promise that?

He let's me go, smiling happily. "We'll take you home to get cloths, love. Okay? You'll have a backstage pass for every show and anything you want or need is on me."

"I can't ask you to do that..."

"Very few people can afford to travel like we have to. Especially without a job. Let me take care of you, Diana. You just deal with getting better."

I study him. "And if I can't get better?"

"You will."

I look at the plate he set on my lap. Does he really even care? I'm nothing special. I'm just me... broken me...

"Diana?"

"Yes, Mr. Hemmings?"

"Please don't call me that... my name is Luke...." he gently tips my face up. "I will be right here for as long as you need me. I don't care how long it takes. Okay? I will help you get better. Now, eat up."

I look at the food on my lap.
Don't you dare take a bite you fat ass.

"I'm not actually hungry...."

He studies me. "Do you have an eating disorder?"

"No." Do I?

"When did you eat last?"

"Um..."
Oh God.

"Diana?"
Let's see... today is Saturday.... I ate on Thursday.... "Thursday at three in the afternoon, I ate a salad."

"Ana..." he frowns. "Eat. I'm not asking you."

I stare.

"Now." The force and command in his voice is impressive.

"I-"

"I'm not going to debate this! Eat."

My eyes widen, and I take a bite.