Take A Deep Breath

Chapter 5

I feel unexpected butterflies swirl in my stomach. Will I remember their personalities? The things I like about them? Their favourite colours, games, hobbies? Will I be their Amber I once was before?

I swallow harshly and i Feel my hands grip my sheets. I shouldn't need to feel nervous. Hopefully, back when I had a working memory and I made good choice about my friends.

I want to curl into a ball and hide my face as I hear footsteps. Their footsteps. Instead of retracting and being drawn back, I sit up straight and pat down my hair.

"Amber!?"

I smile as...Saffron... rushes up to me, embracing me with her arms. I smile and hug her back, smelling the sweet aroma of some sort of perfume. She squeezes me tight and I try my best not to pull away. She eventually slips her arms back to her sides and steps backwards.

I smile brightly at Cadence. He only pauses for a small moment before hugging me the same way Saffron did. I close my eyes and try to remember more, more about them and what they are like. Adjectives spin in my head and I have to open my eyes to get rid of the dizziness.

"Are you ok? How are you feeling?"
Saffron' questions hit me hard in the chest. How am I feeling? Confused, angry, sad, desperate.

"Ok," I lie, looking into my lap. "I've probably been better"

"You have, trust me. You look pale and sick. Remember that time we went swimming in that rock pool waterfall thing? You had a massive asthma attack and puked all over my new bathers" Cadence smiles, raises his eyebrows slightly.

They know.

The doctor had told them.

And apparently I have asthma. Just another problem to add to my endless list.

"Yes, of course" I lie again.

"Really?" Saffron's face lights up.

I shrug and nod slightly, not really wanting to lie but not wanting to disappoint them.

"That's nice," Saffron continues, obviously nervous. "You mustn't have had much of a big knock to the head then if you can remember that silly event"

I smile wearily and fight the urge to look away.

"Saffron, of course she has had a big knock to the head. She was in a coma" Cadence snaps softly, avoiding eye contact.

An awkward silence fills the air and I suddenly crave my independent confusion again. I think it was better when I didn't know I had amnesia.

"It was induced, Cadence. It's ok. I'm back now" I comfort them both, even though I feel like I should be the one being comforted.

They both nod and I hope that I'm not actually seeing the beginning of tears in Saffron's eyes. Cadence runs his hands through his hair and I can't help but watch. I don't remember much, but I do remember enough about him to know that he is obsessed with styling his hair. Another memory floats in my head, tempting me, and I try my best to catch it.

"Hair gel" I suddenly find myself saying.

Saffron frowns, but Cadence smiles.

"I was hoping you wouldn't remember that"

Saffron smirks in recognition.

"Yes, that's his nickname. He loves it"
He clears his throat.

"Ah, no, I dont. Only when Amber here uses it, because you, Saffron, don't deserve to be able to use it. You put strawberries in my smoothie this morning. Strawberries. How could you?"

She shrugs and turns to me again. I laugh slightly at their...flirting?

"Are..are you guys going out?" I blurt out before I can stop myself.

Dammit.

I feel slightly confused at Cadence's expression of hurt on his face, but familiar phrases act as clues in my head and I sigh.

"Sorry, I'm trying"

"Its fine, Amber. We aren't going out, god no, but you guys were about to"
She repeats what I already know. "Before, you know"

I nod and smile sympathetically at Cadence.

"I'm glad you're back, Amber" she adds. Cadence nods, remaining silent. "We are so going to have a movie marathon when you get out of here"