Take A Deep Breath

Chapter 10

Hellooooo okay just letting you (guys) know that in the passwords bit there are names from different fandoms (you'll understand) so you might not understand the names but go with the flow

I wake up gasping, sweat beads forming on my head.

A dream, a voice in my mind echoes. That's all it was. I can't help but wish it was more- something real. And that's scares me, because really, Cadence is nothing more than a friendly stranger now. Somebody I used to love, obviously. We were beginning, and now we have to start all over again. Will it take him another five years to like me once more?

As I sit up, I realise I am on the couch, a movie still playing on the TV. Salt. An action packed favourite, according to Saffron.

Saffron.

I glance over to see her on the floor, surrounded by pillows. Cadence is still awake and has a concerned look on his face, wearily smiling at me.

"Are you okay?"

I suddenly feel embarrassed and sit up straight, pulling at my top. He is sitting on the armchair while I was draped on the couch, blanket tangled everywhere.

"Uh...yeah...just a memory..."

I shake my head and place a hand up instinctively to my lips, then jerk it to my head, running a hand through my hair.

"Of what?" He seems excited at the fact, standing up and sitting down next to me.

"Ugh, we," I turn my head to face him, he looks at me eagerly, smiling encouragingly. "Well, we went on a picnic,"

A look of recognition appears on his face. "Oh, the picnic," He suddenly starts taking extreme interest in his hands, twisting his fingers in his lap.

"It was nice, from what I remember..." I start, rubbing the back of my neck awkwardly, searching for something to say.

"Yeah...I enjoyed it...It was the day before the accident. Saffron doesn't know about it...I don't know how much you remember about it..." He shrugs.

Certainly enough to trigger some strong...familiar...emotions.

"Uh, well I remember up to when it started raining..." I look up at him and he laughs, forcefully.

"Yeah...perfectly placed. Mother Nature was having none of our...nonsense."

I smile, trying to make it reach to my eyes. "Nonsense. Right."

He shrugs and grabs the remote, turning the movie up a bit. End of conversation. I wish it wasn't. I wish I never lost everything. I wish I never dived at that time- I probably would have a stronger bond with my best friends, maybe a boyfriend and at least some sense of who I am. I have no idea what I was interested in, besides YouTube and stationary. Am I that stereotypical?

I grab my laptop from the coffee table and open it up, butterflies once again swirling in my stomach for about the 50th time. I haven't looked at the files yet or anything on there- I was going to, but Saffron insisted that I had to watch 'Salt' with them.

In my peripheral vision I can see Cadence glancing at me, so I pretend not to notice him and focus on the loading screen. An apple sign. Very entertaining.

"Do you remember your password?" He asks.

I feel heat rising in my cheeks. Obviously blushing.

"Um..."

I can almost feel the smirk that has to be radiating off of him.

"Good luck with that."

I find myself rolling my eyes and placing my hands on the laptop, fingers dancing over the keys.

"Do you have any idea about it? At all?" He asks again.

I find myself frowning. "Shush."

He rolls his own eyes and goes back to watching the movie.

Maybe it was something I was interested in? A TV show...a character? Maybe an old school password?

"Was I heavily into any TV shows?"

He shrugs again. "Doctor who, American Horror story, Teen wolf. I heard you say something about Supernatural once. It involved a lot of screaming."

"Thanks." I say blandly.

Going off of his suggestions, I quickly look up the main characters.

Doctor. No.

Clara

Amy

River Song

I let out a frustrated sigh.

Whouffle

Yowzah

No.

Zoe.

No.

Dylan O'Brian.

As I keep trying, I feel myself becoming more and more upset. Why can't I remember my own password?

Dean.

I groan, ignoring Cadence's laugh, and massage the back of my neck, a headache rising. What did I like so much that I chose it for my password? Even now after everything I know I would only chose a password that I would know and never, ever, forget. What, or who, could that be? I have no idea. And that drives me insane- I have to have some sort of memories of what I liked. Can't I at least have that? Is there nothing that I love enough anymore that I can't even remember it?

And when the word appears in my head, I already know it's right.

Cadence.

I smile.