Poetry in Motion

19

"You know it's strange, I never thought for one moment that I would ever meet, or have someone within my life that would affect me so much; it isn't just the big, long-term things, it's the short term too. I'm not saying I am incapable of looking to the future, or trying to plan for something, it's just...the short term is the now. And the now is a lot more interesting." Arthur said, rambling somewhat slowly, his voice languidly mulling over the words and what he was saying. He'd take a drag, a long generous one of his cigarette and wave his hand in the air. As if this action helped him express himself, the smoke coming from the stick in his hand seemed to drift in the air as languidly as his voice.

Exhaling smoke through his nose, Arthur scrunched his face up slightly in thought. "It is strange though, because I didn't think I could bring so much to someone's life. What she sees in me, is a complete mystery and yeah, sure, I do still think one day that...that man will appear and sweep her off of her feet and she'll disappear. But as for now, I am in love and happy to ignore these lingering thoughts." Arthur stretched his legs out in front of himself, crossing one over the other eventually as he shifted himself in his seat.

He popped the cigarette in between his lips and shrugged, crossing his hands momentarily in his lap, he just watched the smoke trailing upwards towards the ceiling and the rubbish fan up there. "But and this is quite a massive one, I also find myself struggling just a little bit. I am unused to this whole situation, yet...I feel like she expects more of me, from me than what I am doing at the moment. Know what I mean?" His eyes narrowed sceptically as he removed the cigarette and reached forwards to stub it out in the ashtray on the desk. "And it's at these times that I find myself confused, troubled even with what the right thing is to do." Arthur rolled his hand loosely as he settled back down against the back of his chair.

He looked somewhat expectedly at Debra as if she was going to give him all the answers to his monologue. But instead, what greeted Arthur was a blank look, as ever. The emotionless woman just stared at him, Arthur wondered if when he talked, if she heard a completely different language. Arthur didn't know another language, so he guessed she understood him. If she didn't, then, well, he didn't know.

As ever, Arthur opted to talk about other things, not himself. He didn't really want to talk about himself, it was a struggle. How could he tell this woman that his life was going swimmingly? It wasn't. It really wasn't. At the moment he was struggling to pay rent and bills on time, this was due to work slowing down for a bit. There wasn't anything he could do about that, yet everyone else seemed to do fine. Just not him, as ever, story of his goddamn life. It was ridiculous. Arthur had found himself at the bottom of the pile, the pecking order as it were, yet again.

His mother's health also was something that had taken a downhill spiral, Arthur honestly was sort of inclined to believe he was soon to join her. Yet no, he kept on putting on a brave, happy face and trying, desperately trying to make things right, good, even if they weren't. And they weren't. Lack of an income, Penny's health becoming obviously worse, two things that he didn't want to talk about, least of all too Debra.

Himself? In himself, Arthur was the same. So, it was really pointless to talk about himself. What could he say? What could he honestly say? Life was fantastic? His boss was ignoring him, opting to give numerous jobs to others yet not him. His mother's fanatical, delusional obsession with the apparent soon-to-be mayor had escalated to a new level, that she did nothing but ask, and talk about Thomas Wayne as if he was the new messiah while ignoring the obviousness in front of her.

They were going under, fast, like rats fleeing in a sinking ship fast. And Arthur couldn't really do anything about it. Hold on for dear life, or let go and sink. Giving up seemed too easy, and a part of him was determined to weather this rubbish. The little ray of sunshine in his life was Imelda. It had been a few months now that Arthur could say they had been together.