haphephobia | j.jk

0.4

Y/n's POV

You lifted your head from your knees and looked at him, surprise and vulnerability evident in your eyes. You hadn't expected him to say something like that. You thought it was going to say how tired he was of all of this; storm out of your house and leave you.

"Thank you, for everything." You whispered.

"You don't need to thank me for something I 𝘸𝘢𝘯𝘵 to do, Y/n." You gave him a small, weak smile in response, "Now that I think about it, trying to kiss you 𝘸𝘢𝘴 probably a step too far. So, how about we E.T. it out? Or Greek Gods, whichever phrase you prefer." The both of you giggled at his silliness. You figured that that wasn't too much, you could do that. So you nodded at him and he lifted his hand up and pointed his index finger at you, wiggling it slightly to make light of the situation and ease your nerves. You giggled slightly and lifted your same finger up, slowly moving it towards his.

The fact that something as small as this had your anxiety as high as ever made you a little sad. Your heart was palpitating just as it would in a huge crowd, your hands just as clammy and your body just as shaky. It brought a couple of tears to your eyes, you quickly blinked them away before Jungkook could notice. It kind of made you lose hope slightly at the thought that you couldn't even calm your anxiety around your boyfriend. You couldn't stop the thought that something was going to happen as soon as your fingers touched, and yet nothing did.

The pad of your finger met Jungkook's and he gave you a look of such adoration and pride that you melted under his gaze. Nothing horrible or scary had happened. Nothing had happened at all. You let your shoulders relax and sighed. You were genuinely so surprised that you had been able to do it. The first bit of progress had been made and finally, after years of hiding and being scared, you felt something you hadn't in a long time, hope.

You thought back to Jungkooks words about getting out of your comfort zone. It lit a fire of determination in you. You decided that, seeing as you had overcome one hurdle, you could overcome another couple. You traced your finger along Jungkook's and to the back of his hand. You traced each and every veign that popped from them and made funny little patterns everywhere, the touch oddly intimate fir the both of you. You could see Jungkook looking at you, the shock evident on his face.

Jungkook's POV

He couldn't believe that you were actually taking his words on and trying to push yourself further. The whole thing felt oddly intimate and surreal to him. He kept his hand as still as he possible could so as not to startle you but it was a slight challenge when you were touching his hand so lightly that it tickled. However, he pushed that to the back of his head and continued watching your administrations admiringly.

Y/n's POV

You slowly moved your finger back so it was touching the pad of Jungkook's. One by one, you pressed each matching one together, until each and every one were touching each other. You slowly pushed your fingers forward so that more and more of your hands were touching. That fire of determination grew more and more as the back of each knuckle connected, until your palms lay flat against each other. You moved your hand to the side slightly and intertwined you finders between his. You smiled in accomplishment. The thought that you were actually holding someone's hand hit you like a bus and suddenly you were wiggling and jumping in your seat with glee. Jungkook continued to look at you with that look of pure astonishment.

You looked up at him, "I did it!"

"You did it, baby. I'm so proud of you! I really didn't expect you to do that. My mind is actually blown, you just made so much progress it's insane!" He was nearly, if not as, excited as you at the progress you had just made. And, in that moment, you wondered if this is what it felt like to truly be happy.