i hate u i love u (brittana)

Dating

Regretting the fact that she hadn't brought a coat or a jacket with her, Santana stepped out of her car in her jet-black skinny jeans and thin white top and walked speedily into the Lima Bean for her date with Kitty.

Embracing the warmth from inside the coffee shop, she took awareness of her surroundings, noticing a small blonde standing in front of the cashier, with a ponytail dressed in a plaid skirt and white turtleneck, matched with black tights and black pumps and thanked the gay Gods that she hadn't recognised anyone else in the coffee shop, and that Kitty had actually bothered to show up. At this moment in time, Santana was basically outing herself to Kitty. She felt vulnerable.

As Kitty turned around with two plastic coffee cups, she saw Santana standing at the entrance, and let out a brief smile, before walking down and taking a seat. Santana wondered if she had taken the hint that she was the girl Kitty was supposed to be on this date with- but there's only one way to find out.

"Hey... uh...can I sit?" Santana asked as she walked over to a small beige sofa that was at the other end of Kitty.

Kitty looked up- shocked to see that Santana was asking to sit down. "I'm actually waiting on someone, but you're welcome to stay until they arrive." Her voice was rather shaky, as she placed the two coffee cups on the table.

"They already have arrived you idiot, hello? Your date is here." Santana snapped and sat down, annoyed that Kitty hadn't come to the realisation yet. God. She was so over this. She didn't want to be on a date with a girl, she wasn't interested in a relationship, never mind one that could lead to the public humiliation that is everyone knowing she's a lesbian.

The blondes mouth dropped into an 'O' shape, before quickly closing it, "You're gay? The Santana Lopez? Well, that's something I didn't expect." She raised one eyebrow and folded her arms cheekily at Santana.

"Yes, and so are you. So, now that we've both clarified that, can we continue whatever this is? Or are you going to spend the rest of the time talking about how this turn of events has made you realise you're actually hetero? Because I have better things to be doing than sit here and talk to you." Santana mirrored the girl's actions and waited for her to respond, but no words left her mouth. "Fine, if you'll excuse me, I'm leaving." Santana stood up and was about to walk out the door, before she heard a voice calling her name.

"Santana!" Santana turned around and waited for her to say something. "Stay... sorry about that." Kitty chuckled- which Santana could tell was out of nervousness.

Santana reluctantly took a seat and grabbed one of the coffees from Kitty's side of the table and took a sip. She expected it to taste disgusting, and would have an excuse to dislike Kitty, but it didn't. "Okay... did you guess my order out of sheer luck, or are you just super creepy?"

"Neither. I texted Quinn and asked for it, but I find it pretty rude that you just took one of them without asking first. Like, what if that one was mine, or what if they were both for me?"

"Well, I do what I want." Santana snapped, and with that, Kitty did not respond.

Santana stared at Kitty for a short while, trying to think of a good conversation starter to end the awkward silence between them, but nothing was coming to mind. She tried to think of anything she knew about the girl that would indicate a small conversation starter... still, nothing.

"So..." The blonde started awkwardly, "I thought you were dating Puck? But then again you guys break up like... every day." She took relatively long sip from her plastic cup and downed it like a shot glass, all while never breaking the intense eye-contact.

"Not that it's any of your business, but we broke up- for obvious reasons." She let out a small laugh, reminding herself of when she came out to Puck, and how accepting he was of it. "But he knows... that I'm gay." She made sure to keep her voice low, just in case. "What's your excuse though? Does baby Puckerman know that you're a secret lady-lover?" Santana interrogated.

"I'm not a lesbian." Kitty sighed. Santana swear her heart jumped out of her chest, as well as some of the coffee that she ended up spilling on her shirt. "Wow there... relax, just because I'm not a lesbian doesn't mean I'm not into girls." Kitty said matter-of-factually.

"So, you're bisexual?" The brunette assumed; all she was doing on this 'date' was asking questions.

"Pansexual... yeah. I love 'em all." Kitty joked in attempt to lighten the conversation, and it worked. "And Jake doesn't know. I used to be attracted to him at first, or at least I thought I was, but it turns out there was no real... connection? So, to put in simply, I'm using him to keep a good status." She said, slightly ashamed. Little did she know, Santana knew exactly how she felt.

"Don't feel guilty... I get it, I'm doing the same- kind of." She tilted her head a little to the left, "Puck and I aren't telling anyone we broke up, so that once they find out, nobody will really pay attention, thus, making it less likely for people to realise... what I am." She let out a pitiful smile.

It never really occurred to her how long she'd have to hide who she really was, or if she could ever tell anyone who she really was. Taking into consideration the extreme homophobia in Lima, it wouldn't be an easy task to fulfil, if she ever could.

"Yeah, it's nice to know I'm not the only one going through it." Kitty smiled back, though not as apologetic, more of an 'I'm here for you even though we barely know each other' type smile.

There was another small silence, though it was not as awkward and the only noises they could hear were that conversations amongst the other people, walking in and out of the coffee shop, continuing on with their night.

After about 30 seconds, the girls continued into regular conversation, about school, grades, cheer and what type of music they liked. It hadn't occured to Santana how alike they were, but there was no sexual chemistry, and they both agreed being friends would be a good idea.

Once again, Kitty initiated the conversation, "So, are you interested in anyone?" Kitty leaned further across the table, wanting to know all the gossip, as Santana sat at the opposite end.

"What do you mean?"

"You're seriously stupid." Kitty rolled her eyes, which Santana returned with a sharp glare, "I mean, do you have a crush on anyone Bobo?"

"Something like that... It's kind of complicated." Santana's brain instantly started flooding with images of Brittany like water rushing out of tap. A confused look sparked on Kitty's face, signalling that Santana should continue. "I hate this girl... like... a lot, but it's like the more I'm supposed to hate her, the more I like her. Every time we're together, alone, there's always this tension, and I can't exactly put my finger on what type of tension it is. I hate her so much... but when I think it over, I guess I have a crush on her. It sounds weird, I know." The brunette let out.

Almost immediately, Santana felt a huge weight, that she didn't know was even there in the first place, lift off of her shoulders. Had she always deep down knew how she felt?

"Um... hi, I don't mean to intrude... I just wanted to say hi," Santana recognised the voice, but she couldn't quite put her finger on. It. "But you're clearly in the middle of something... so I'm going to go, bye Kitty... and Santana." After hearing her name, she turned around and looked at the girl speaking. She heard Kitty reply to the girl but was too shocked to listen.

Brittany

She heard it all

"Fuck!" Santana cursed under her breath as she watched Brittany walk away. Kitty shot her a confused look before realisation shone down on her face.

"You were talking about... Brittany. She's... your crush." Kitty said slowly, as Santana nodded her head, confirming everything that was currently coming out of her mouth. "And... she heard it all."  Santana nodded. She accidentally confessed what she thought about Brittany, even if Brittany knew if she was talking about her or not.

"I have to go... thank you, for this. I'll talk to you in school and I'd love to be friends... bye." And with that, Santana sprinted out of the coffee shop, placing three-dollar bill on the table to pay Kitty back for what she spent on the coffee.

How was she going to fix this?

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