A World Alone - D.R.

ten

The events after Jade and Dan left the restaurant kept playing on both of their minds all night. It was safe to say, neither party got much sleep that night.

The second Jade walked through the front door of her flat, she collapsed into her bed. Not even bothering to plug her phone in to charge. She laid fully clothed on top of the covers. He scuffed boots hanging off the end of the bed. She stared so hard up at the ceiling she began to see little pictures in the dabs of textured paint above her. She really liked Dan. It was easy with him, they got along like a house on fire, but after her last relationship, she was scared about what could happen. The only thing she could think of was how terrible it could all end. The constant yelling at each other between her and her ex started playing like a bad movie in her head. Like someone had turned a projector on and she was watching the last few months of her old relationship play back on the white surface she was staring up at. The longer she thought of those last few months with her ex, the more often his face turned into Dan's. It was bizarre. Dan making those faces, and saying those things and behaving like that. It just simply wasn't right, and Jade knew it. She knew it very deep down, and they hadn't even spent all that much time together in person. She knew there was no way Dan could say the type of things her ex was, and there was no way he'd yell the way her ex did, but at this point, it was hardwired into her. She needed to take things slowly with Daniel. It couldn't ever work though. He jetted off to a new place a couple of times a month, and when he got there, he'd literally be surrounded with attractive girls. All of them 10 times more attractive than she was. they'd all be tanned, and leggy, with perfect skin, and their hair would never be out of place. Make up would probably even be professionally applied every morning. How could she compete with that? These days she was lucky if she even managed to wash her hair. She was off in the library with her hair in a sloppy bun, in some leggings and a jumper or T shirt to even think about slapping on fake tan, let alone waiting for it to develop. Dan would go for them 10 times over her. Especially if she wasn't going to commit to him soon. Building up all that trust was difficult for anyone. Let along building up to that level while they hardly even saw each other. let alone while Dan was in a different country every week and she was on hospital shift after hospital shift. It wouldn't work. It would be miles better to cut things off now than get attached and get hurt when he inevitably slept with someone else a few weeks down the line.

Despite all the rationalisations about why building up feelings towards Dan was a bad idea, she still fell asleep thinking of the nights they spent together at her little flat back in Germany.

The next morning, all Dan could do in his sleep deprived state was stare at his phone. He was hoping Jade would call sooner rather than later. Though 6 am was probably a bit too early to hope for an earlier call. After scrolling on instagram for a few too many hours, he finally gave up, and headed to the bathroom. He was sick of sitting by his phone and expecting a call back. It was a fresh new day, and he had other things to do. Things that were better than him sat shirtless in bed staring at the stupid little screen. He was naked and about to step into the shower when the phone finally rang. Dan stopped, and stared at the water hitting the tiled shower floor for a few seconds, deciding if he should just get in regardless of the annoying ringtone. The second set of chimes started again, and with a sigh, he reached back into the shower and shut off the water. The bathroom was silent again, and the third set of phone ringtone started again. Dan sat back down on the bed, and stared at the phone screen, flashing up with Jades name. He sighed once more, and lifted the phone to his ear, sliding the answer bar across the screen as he did so.

The second the phone was pressed against his ear, he suddenly forgot what to say, and both Jade and Daniel sat in silence for a bit; each of them trying to work out how to start the conversation.

"Hi,"

"Hey."

They greeted each other in the same instant, and the pair chuckled at themselves through the phone. Both of their laughter slightly too breathy with nerves.

There was another long pause between the two of them. Finally, jade took the reigns of the conversation, and began talking.

"I'm sorry for how I acted last night. It's just," Jade paused and took a deep breath. "It's just that the last relationship I was in was a total cluster-fuck. Like it was fucking terrible."

Dan nodded, although he knew she couldn't see him.

"I'm really sorry about the whole thing. I do really like you, and i know it didn't come across that way after dinner, but I'd honestly love to see you again, but if you don't want you to see me again, i totally understand," Jade was talking into her phone really quickly. Her eye rubbing her eye, and smudging the dried coat of mascara onto the skin below her eyes.

Dan sat and listened, throwing himself back onto the bed as finished her very long sentence. He opened his mouth to reply. "Its okay, I just needed to know what was going on." He smiled into his phone. "I really would like to see you again," he finished off, not sure what else he could add to the end of the conversation.

Jade grinned back in return, seeing Dan's smile in her head, exactly the same as he usually smiled. She was used to seeing it in pictures online, and on the TV, but it was different in person. It was a bit lopsided, and his dimples were a bit deeper than she thought they were. His teeth were perfectly white, and she was sure he got them bleached like every week; or he at least did those at home whitening treatments at home. Or he was just perfect in general, and didn't need to bother with any kind of whitening treatment.

"What are you doing this weekend?" Dan asked, shaking Jade very abruptly out of her thoughts.

"Nothing i guess, just dissertation work i guess, I won't be working this weekend," Jade replied, consulting the wall calendar on the wall beside her bed.

"Could you do that Thesis work in Belgium?" Dan asked, one side of his face curving upwards in a half smile. He was really hoping she would say yes.

"I could probably, I'd have to bring a whole load of crap though," Jade started to bit her lip as she started to think about what she'd need to bring in order to get a chapter of her Thesis written in Belgium. "Whats in Belgium anyway? You're in London at the minute anyway. Aren't you?"

Dan chuckled at her, it clearly hadn't quite clicked that he was asking her to a race. Why else would he be asking her to Belgium? Maybe for a chocolate tour, but they'd just go somewhere in england for that. Though then again, Dan had a habit of doing things that were a bit extra. taking a girl on a first date to an F1 race, for example.

"For the race this weekend Jade," Dan said, interrupting the brunette on the other end of the phone mid rant about Belgium.

"Oh."

There was a long pause, while Jade thought about it. "I'd absolutely love to come," there was another pause while Jade's face wasn't a massive grin. "I just have so much Thesis work to get done"

Dan's face fell, and he flopped backwards onto his bed. "It's okay, it probably won't be the best race anyway," he rubbed a hand over his face. "Could you text me inn a bit? I was just heading in the shower."

Jade nodded, and realising he couldn't see her, hastily replied, "Yeah of course," She smiled and hung up the phone.

Dan flung the phone down onto the bed beside him a little harder than he anticipated. It bounced back up and he had to swat it out the way of hitting him in the face. He was still frustrated at how Jade was so closed off. Who would pick writing a long complicated essay over going to a formula one race and sitting in the garage. Dan sat up abruptly, and his head started thudding dully. He sighed once more, and stood up, finally ready to shower, only this time he was hoping the shower would improve his now foul mood.