The Oneshot Hotel! (Hazbin Hotel/Helluva Boss)

Lucifer X Reader X Alastor

(Your P.O.V)

It was midnight, the best time for strip clubs, bars, and casinos to get the most business. I was trudging along the sidewalk, heels in hand and hot tears streaming down my cheeks. Did I also mention that it was pouring? My hair was drenched, my red, knee-length dress was now see-through, revealing my curves and my lacy bra. The rain pelted my small horns, making a tap, tap, tap sound. Everything about tonight sucked. I was rejected by one of my crushes, I almost got raped by some jackass until I bashed his pitiful skull in, and one of my heels broke in FUCKING HALF. 

I was ready to give up. I looked up at the glowing Pentagram and cursed at it. When I want to give love to someone, they refuse it, but when other people want to give ME love, it's always rape and harassment by some greasy, overweight scumbags. I sighed sadly, it's no use.

"Maybe I was never meant to love. Heh, it makes sense, though, " I whispered, trying to comfort myself but in a very bad attempt. 

I just wanted to go home.

"Y/N!" I heard someone's voice call out to me. My first thought was Brian, but it was more...static-y. 

I gasped, 'ALASTOR!' 

'Fuckin' fantastic! Another one of my crushes seeing me like this! Thanks, Lucifer you're a REAL PEACH!'  I hissed to myself.

I turned on my heel to see Alastor, drenched too, speed-walking over to me. His usual red pinstripe coat was over his head, his dress shirt was also soaked, letting me see his...*ahem* defined muscles. He had a ROCKIN' six-pack. I was glad he didn't catch me staring since I stopped before he would notice, but still...it was a damn good sight to see.

"Yes, Alastor, what do you need?" I asked him in a sad but impatient tone, waiting to go home and cry while eating ice cream and watching horror movies. He gave me a look of concern while also giving me his insane smile. "I was talking with Charlie when I noticed you hadn't come back to the Hotel at the time you said you'd be back. Is something wrong, dear?" He asked, holding his coat between us so we both don't get wet. We were inches apart, and it made me light up like a Christmas tree. I sighed quietly, "I was on a date, which didn't go too swell. I almost got raped in the process of going back to the Hotel, so yes. Everything is wrong." He looked shocked, letting his smile falter. I will admit, he looked scarier without his Cheshire Cat smile. His eyes darkened. 'Shit, maybe I shouldn't have said the rape part.'  Instead of scolding me about being careful like he usually does, he hugged me. I mean, I was digging it, but he told me he never liked physical contact. 

Could he.....

"My darling, I'm so sorry I wasn't there...." He muttered, letting his coat fall on us. He was so tall, I was hugging his abs. I never heard him so quiet before, either. He was so confident just a few hours ago, but now it's like he let his guard down. In front of me... 

"Eh, I bashed his skull in, but it was nothing I couldn't handle, " I cooed, trying to comfort him. He let go and looked into my eyes.

"Y/N, I'll admit that I was quite jealous when you told us you were going on a date, and I was disappointed for a second with whoever you went with for missing out on a beautiful Angel such as yourself, " he started, intertwining his fingers with mine. "But now, I'm happy because...I get to have you all for myself." He was about to bend down to kiss me, but another voice interrupted. 

"*AHEM*!"

You both looked up to see who it was and what. The. FUCK!

IT WAS FUCKING LUCIFER HIMSELF.

"Step aside, Alastor, " Lucifer said dangerously, "She's Mine."

You stared at him in disbelief.

He was wearing his usual white and red suit with a big umbrella above him, covering him away from the rain. 

He looked away from Alastor and over to you with a shiny smile and a mischevious glint in his eye.

"Ah, my dear Y/N! My daughter has told me a lot about you! She told me you were beautiful, but...seeing you in person took my breath away for a second!" He said, smugly walking over to where Alastor and I were standing. I looked back up at Alastor and he looked like he was gonna kick Satan's ass. "You know, I've felt lost when my beloved wife died...She was my everything. But looking at you, I feel like I have a purpose again. I feel like I have someone to rule Hell with, " he said as he took my hand and kissed it. He looked into my eyes again, this time I could see his message.

'He wanted to fucking marry me.'

"So.." He got down on one knee,

"Will you be my queen?"

I looked at him in complete and utter shock.

Before I could stutter like a fool, Alastor saved my ass.

"You complete MORON!" Alastor barked at him. Satan snapped his eyes back on him and snarled. 

"You don't truly love her! For heaven's sake, you might leave her for another woman one year later!" Alastor yelled.

"THAT'S NOT TRUE! At least I won't scare her with my psychotic smile, you fucking psycho!" He retorted back.

They screamed at each other for a good 5 minutes before I intervened.

"STOP IT! BOTH OF YOU!"

They gave me a look like, 'He said it first!'

"You need to pick one of us, Y/N!" Lucifer stated.

"We promise we won't make a fit," Alastor assured, looking at you with desperate eyes.

'Shit...'

'Who do I choose?'

(Again, thank you Ollinox for giving me life again XD)

(I'll post the two endings in a bit, it's literally 4:35 AM rn and I have school tomorrow .-.)

(Anyway, see you beautiful gents and dolls later!  -3-~<3)