Mingkit; To Begin Again

Ten

It's a weird feeling, when you're both comfortable yet uncomfortable around someone. It's like that for Kit. He feels good to be there with Ming, but he has never felt this way around anyone.

It's obvious, even a blind person could sense that Kit really adores Ming. 

Kit knows Ming keeps secrets from him. Even after all this time they've spend together, Ming has never opened up to him.  "He'll tell you when he's ready," Wayo once told him. He's sure taking a long time.

Kit rarely struggles with anything - but this is something that keeps coming back to him. He has been there every step to this day, yet he feels like he knows nothing about Ming. Sometimes he can skip the thought by telling himself, that it's none of his business.

But maybe it is. Maybe this thing he's holding back from him is the exact thing that prevents them from going further.

Kit woke up this morning and decided he has waited long enough.

"What makes you so sad?"

They're sitting in Kit's room's floor. Ming stares at him mouth open, unsure.

"W-what do you mean," he mutters and lowers his gaze.

Kit sighs heavily, trying to control his frustration. "You know exactly what I mean. What makes you sad, what is it in your phone that by looking at it your bright smile disappears?" 

Ming shakes his head and shrugs his shoulders careless. Kit feels disappointed and bad for making Ming seemingly uncomfortable. "Sorry," Kit mumbles and gets up, sits on his bed and starts to play with his phone.

"Kit.. I should go," Ming mumbles and gets up, heading towards the front door. With each step it feels more regret. 

"Yeah keep running away, we saw how far that brought you last time!" Kit yells, ignoring how mean the words leaving his mouth were. At instant Ming turns around, looking at Kit furious. 

"I'm not running away!" he yells back and stares at him, fire in his eyes. 

"Yes you are! You can't even answer a simple question without getting uncomfortable," Kit says avoiding eye contact. 

"What the hell Kit? You have no idea what has happened and how shit everything has been!" Ming shouts, fighting back on tears. Kit gets up and walks to him, grabs him by the collar and stares deeply into his eyes.

"Ming, how can I know when you never tell me anything? It's me, just me! Why aren't you comfortable telling me whatever has been going on? Am I not enough to you?" Kit says half whispering, looking from eye to eye. Ming shakes his head in panic.

"No Kit that's not it! That's not it at all!" he continues shaking his head and tear escapes from the corner of his eye. Quickly he wipes it away and takes Kit's hands on his own.

"My first love died. I loved him so much and I don't think I can ever forget that. And I've just learned to live again and Kit.. I'm terrified to fall in love again."

They look at each other eye to eye for a long moment, without saying a word. Kit takes deep breath and nods, pulling Ming to a hug. "I'm sorry Ming, I had no idea," he whispers. He feels stupid as his head connects dots. The graveyard incident should've revealed enough.

Ming blows air out of his lungs and wraps his arms around Kit, squeezing him closer. 

"I'm scared you're going away too. I don't ever want to go through it again.." Ming says. Kit pets his hair without saying a word. It's going to be alright.

--

"You know if I fail this exam it's on you!" Kit yells and laughs, rolling his eyes as Ming continues to adore his face. 

"I'm not even doing anything!" Ming laughs confused and pokes Kit's shoulder.

"Now see! You just poked me! Plus your staring is distracting," Kit says and hides his face behind the book. "Don't you have school work to do? I thought we're having an after school club on our own," Kit asks. Ming hums and takes his text sheets out. 

"I guess so.." he mumbles and starts to read. Both concentrate on studying for a good while.

"I'm hungry, let's call Phayo and ask them to join us for dinner," Kit suggests and puts his book away. Ming throws his sheet at him. "Hey, I thought we agreed not calling them by their combined name! That's so cringy," Ming whines, making disgusted face.

Kit laughs:"It's because you don't like it, why I use it. It's not even disgusting, what are you saying? You're just jealous!"

"What? I'm jealous!? You're one making throwing up noises whenever they're doing couple stuff!" 

Kit denies and gets up, calling to his friend. 

"Are you with Wayo? Ah of course you are.. I'm with Ming, we were thinking.. What do you mean of course I'm with Ming? Shut the hell up now! Before I hang up, for real... I was about to ask you two to meet us at the mall, let's go have dinner," Kit lifts up his thumb and finishes the phone call. 

"It's true though, we are always together. Just like those two," Ming mumbles and shrugs his shoulders. 

"Sure, but we are not a couple," Kit reminds him. Ming grins. "At least not yet," he says to himself.

"What did you say?" Kit turns his gaze at him fast. Ming shakes his head still grinning. "Nothing? You heard something? I didn't say a thing though.. Are you hearing things? Are you okay?"

Kit lifts his fist at him. "Shut up, you're being pain in the ass right now."

"I know, it's fun to tease you," Ming nods and packs his school applies to the backpack. 

It's fun. And Kit likes it. And yes, he heard him. At least not yet a couple. Whatever that means.

A/N: I'm so sorry I took forever to update, I've been dealing with personal stuff which has caused a writers block, slowly getting over it. Hope you like this chapter, even though it's not my best work so far :)