Letters for her

Letters to her

I'm sorry.

I'm sorry.

I know you didn't want me to save you. I know you would much rather have jumped from that rooftop.

I followed you after lunch because I saw it in your eyes: Death.

But, I wasn't ready yet. I always knew I would lose you to death, I was already content with the idea that we would never end up happy together and I would never end up happy at all. Or, at least, I thought I was. But when I saw your eyes... I'm sorry I followed you.

I could hear your heartbeat, or maybe it was just mine, but, as you were standing on the edge, your warm breath creating little clouds in front of you, I knew I wasn't ready to let you go. Not yet.

I'm sorry for holding your hand and tugging on it so you were in my arms.

I saw your eyes. Emotionless, lifeless, empty. Maybe then I should have realized that you were already dead. Maybe if I knew it then, I would have stopped breaking myself. Maybe...