Of Matters of the Heart

What Lies Within

The heart yearns for very strange things
Sometimes all it takes is a soft glance to set it aflutter
But why
Why
Does it make me yearn for someone so cruel?

Well, I suppose that when I first saw him, he was kind
He was funny
He was sweet 
And although we would make quite the interesting pair
I couldn't resist his sweet smile
The timbre of his voice
His playful attitude.
So, I did what any foolish girl would do
I confessed
I confessed that he had become wrapped around my heart
That just the sight of him was enough to make me smile
And he just... looked at me
Well, looked up at me.

Now, I don't consider these words cruel,
Despite their teasing nature.
I think that they're well-placed

This man managed to make me feel
So small
Just by rejecting me because I was
Too tall
And I worked so hard, so long to accept myself in all of my so-called "glory"
But this man, this small man
Was able to rip all of that to shreds
So easily.
Not just in his rejection,
But in his still-constant refusal to look at me.
In his blatant ignorance towards my messages
-about schoolwork, I might add.
In his false words:
"I do hope we can still be friends."

How can someone be so cruel?
I'm over you,
So I tell myself,
Yet your eyes are still daggers that make my heart ache.
I simultaneously want to hold you close and throw you out a window.

Friendship would've been much more preferable to what I am feeling now,
But you wouldn't have that.
So now, instead of working towards a place of me loving you,
You have me loathing you
In this very moment.

I do hope you've gotten what you wanted,
And I wish you all the love in the world,
You coward.