The Depressing Truth ~Prinxiety Angst~

1. The Depressing Truth

⚠TRIGGER WARNINGS⚠ Homophobic slurs, Brief abuse, Dead name, Misgendering. I think that's all, if I missed something please tell me

Some kids do suffer from the hand of their parents. It's a fact. Some people say they want to help, but don't actually do anything when the opportunity arises. Others just overlook it. Forget about it until it somehow comes up. Some even just ignore the fact that it's happening. I can't do any of that. I live it.

"Where do you think you're going?" Said my father as I stepped towards the door. I was hoping we could get out without waking him up, but of course, the universe is against me today.

First, I woke up late, so I had to rush to get ready. Thankfully Ryan was already up and helped April get ready, so I didn't have to worry about them getting ready. But then, I realized I never went grocery shopping, so there's not enough food for me to get breakfast. And of course, my father was up.

"We're going to school sir, it's Monday," I said, hoping he wouldn't hear my voice break at the end.

"I know it's Monday! What do you think I am?! An idiot?!" he screamed at me. I guess he's in a bad mood today. Yay.

"No, sir. Sorry, sir."

"Get over here Veronica," I hate that name.

When I stayed rooted to the ground, frozen in fear, he yelled "Now!"

I had two options. I could listen and hope that Ryan has enough sense to get him and April to school without me. Or I could leave and hope he is too drunk to remember this when I get home. Thankfully, Ryan already got out the door with April, so I made my decision. 

As I slipped out the door, I heard my father scream "Get back here you fag." I just kept walking, hoping he was too drunk to chase me. 

I saw Ryan and April waiting at the end of the block. Once I got closer, I realized that I could hear April crying. I ran the last few feet to see if she was ok. "Hey, April, what's wrong?"

"D-daddy was yelling," she said between sobs. I should have known, she hates yelling, especially when dad's the one yelling. 

"Hey, it's ok, dad's not yelling anymore, everything's ok, April," I said, hoping to calm her down. We really don't have time for this, Ryan and I are already running late. 

"Virgil, is he mad at me?" she said, still sniffling.

"No, he's not mad at you," I said softly.

"Promise?"

"I promise, now let's go."

As we started walking, April decided to start dancing on the sidewalk, so she was a bit ahead of me and Ryan. Ryan slowed his pace so that we were walking side by side and said, quietly enough for April to not hear us "Are you ok?"

"I'm fine, what about you?" I replied, hoping he didn't see through my lie.

"Don't lie to me Virgil. I know you're not ok, you never are after our father yells at us," he said as he kept walking. Still speaking softly enough for April to be completely oblivious to this conversation.

"I'm okay Ryan," I said. 

I have to be okay I thought 

"Why'd you wait at the end of the block for me. You know you're supposed to get April to school, even if I'm not there. Especially if I'm not there,"  I said, hoping to change the subject.

"April insisted. She refused to move until you got there, and I wasn't going to yell at her and make her fit any worse."

"Why didn't you just drag her?"

"You know why," he said, and he was right. I did know why. We made a pact to never, EVER, use physical force to get April to do something. We refused to let her grow up like we did. Scared of making mistakes. Scared of those that are supposed to protect you. Scared.

"Yeah, I do," I said as April's school came into view. Me and Ryan caught up to April, wanting to walk the last part with her, knowing that it helps her anxiety. 

As we got near the entrance, I leaned down next to April and said "Don't worry about this morning. Dad just had a rough night. Don't let it ruin your day. Go have fun with your friends, okay?."

"Yeah, I will," she said.

"Bye April," Ryan yelled as she ran to go play with her friends.

Me and Ryan started the walk to the middle school, thankful that April was able to recover from this morning's events. 

As we walked, the wind started to blow pretty strong. I noticed Ryan pulling his dark blue hoodie tighter around him. I pulled off my black pullover sweatshirt and silently held it out to him.

"Keep your hoodie, Virgil. You'll freeze without it," he says, while still pulling his hoodie tighter. 

"Stop worrying about me, Ryan. I can handle a little cold," I say, trying to brush off his concern.

"I can too!" he shouts, then more calmly says "And besides, you'll be able to handle it even better with a hoodie." 

"Ugh, fine, freeze! See if I care!" I half-shouted, quickly getting frustrated with him.

"Ok! I will!" he yells.

After that, we both walked in silence for a few blocks. Ryan was still shivering and pulling his hoodie tighter around him. Why does he have to be so much like me? He cares so much about everyone else but could care less about what happens to him.

"Sorry about snapping at you Virgil. I know you were just trying to help," Ryan said softly as we continued walking.
"It's fine. Sorry for yelling at you," I said, hoping he would let the subject drop.

"It's ok."

We kept walking, and we could see the middle school a few blocks away. 
Once we were about a block away, I said goodbye to Ryan. Then I put in my earbuds and turned down the street towards the high school.