my little secret ; lana del rey

18

It's the next day now and i'm currently in photography class modelling for Lucas. "Lucy stop getting distracted" She tells me, making me snap out of my daydreaming. In all seriousness i'm nervous about going to Lana's house, me and her haven't been alone like that for ages, I don't want it to be awkward.

I continue posing for the photos, ignoring what's going on in my head. I can't tell Kelsey i'm going over, she will kill me. It's not like me and Kelsey are properly together or anything, but we have always had a thing since the trip when i saw her again. My friends still don't know exactly what happened between me and her. I mean I can't exactly tell them that she was trying to have an affair on her fiancé with me can I, expecially when their big fans and know everything about Brad.

"Brad let me see the photos" my teacher carol says looking over at his camera. Brad scrolls through the photos showing her. Carol walks over to me and starts messing with my dark brown hair, positioning it to make it perfect. She then encourages me to get into a position and gets Lucas to take the photo again. "Gorgeous" she says showing me the photo. I literally look like i haven't slept in about a week, thanks carol.

The class is dismissed and it's time to go to Lana's, "Lucas i have an appointment so i'll be back later" I tell him, he nods and walks away. I get into my car and find Lana's address from the other night. "Turn left at the next set of lights" The annoying woman on the map says. I follow what she says and about 10 minutes later end up right outside her house.

I stop for a minute and sit staring at her huge house, i can't believe someone i used to know so well had changed this much in 2 years. When her biggest problem was having staying with a man because she had no money. I can't believe how far she has gotten.

I look around her drive and notice there's a few other cars here which is weird. I finally decide to get out of the car and walk towards her door, I take a deep breath and ring the doorbell. A few moments later a woman answers, who is not Lana. I look at her confused, "this is lana's house right?" I wonder thinking i for the wrong address. "Yeah yeah it is come in" the women says and steps out the way. I follow her into the living room and see a bunch of people sat with drinks huddled round. I front of them stands a microphone and piano. I look around confused until the woman speaks to me again. "She's just upstairs with her manager" She tells me.

I nod and walk up the stairs and knock on Lana's bedroom door. "yes ok one minute" I hear lana shout, she sounds stressed and annoyed. "Hey it's me" I say. I hear silence for a minute and then the door in front of me opens, revealing Lana. "Hey sorry I thought you were someone else" She says and gives me a hug. She lets me into her room which has her manager and pianist in who both greet me.

"Is everything ok?" I ask Lana. She nods, "just these people are here to see my perform and i never even agreed to it or anything, but we have to do it now cause there here" she tells me.
"Anyway let's just go do it and get it out of the way" her manager says. Lana nods and begins to leave the room, she turns around as she reaches the door and motions for me to follow her. We walk downstairs together back into the living room. "Take a seat, the barman will make you a drink" She says and pulls out a chair for me. I sit down and watch her as she walks over to the microphone.

"This songs called is this happiness" she speaks into the mic. The guy begins playing a beautiful piano melody and the journalists begin filming her. "I've been to Hollywood hills taking violet pills, writing all my songs about my cheap thrills" She begins singing, i watch her sing all the lyrics with such emotion. Whatever she wrote this about seems to meet a lot. "Is this happiness, Is this happiness" she sings into the mic. I notice her manager is sat next to me crying, making me smile of how supportive she is. Lana begins getting to the end of the song and looks towards me smiling. "I love you but you drive me so far" she sings whilst looking at me and then looks away again.

Why did she look at me when she sang i love you. It's been 2 years i don't understand. As soon as Lana finished everybody clapped. Around 10 minutes later everyone had left, including her manager and band mate, so are alone. "Sorry about that, i didn't think i'd be singing today" she says and sits next to me on her sofa. "It's ok, you were really good" I tell her, making her smile.

"How was college" She says lighting up a cigarette and walking towards the garden, motioning me to come with her. "It was shit" I say following her outside to her sun beds around the pool. I sit on one next to hers and take my hoodie off revealing a white long sleeve crop top. "What were you doing" She asks me. "Just modelling for Lucas's photography" I tell her. She looks at me and raises her eyebrows, blowing smoke out of her mouth. "Do you have any of the photos?" She asks smiling. I smile shyly and nod. "Show me" she says and climbs onto my sun-bed and lies next to me. I roll my eyes and scroll through my photos on the phone, clicking on one of the photos of me on a beach. Lana takes my phone and starts scrolling through them all, smiling at each individual photo. "You look hot" She says and gives me phone back to me, inhaling her cigarette again. She holds the cigarette towards me as she blows out the smoke, wondering if i want any. I nod at the offer, she turns herself so she's facing me and puts the cigarette between my lips, still keeping hold of it. I inhale and all the warm smoke fills my lungs, she takes the cigarette out of my mouth and watches my lips as i breathe out the smoke. I look at her and notice she's still looking at my lips. Without taking her gaze off them she takes another drag off her cigarette, blowing out the smoke towards me. I turn my head away, removing Lana's eyes away, which i think annoyed her as I heard her sigh.