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August "what about her?" Derrick asked. i looked towards who he was pointing at and my face scrunched up.
"nawl, don't she get around?" the boys in my circle laughed, i stayed silent, i was anxious. it felt like my heart was beating 100 miles a minute. "i mean y'all, do i really have to do this?" i said really wanting to back out of this situation.
"duh nigga! you lost the bet, now stop picking and choosing because you don't even have a choice." Derrick responded with a slight mug on his face. i sucked my teeth and turned my head away from the others. "now now, i think we have our winner." he said with the most sinister smirk. i could feel my stomach churn at the thought of what was about to happen. i followed Derrick's eyes to the girl. she was it, i watched as she stood around looking as it wasn't her scene. i knew she was going to leave soon and i needed to make my move, but i couldn't bring my feet to walk. the longer i stood there the more time was wasted. i drowned out the other voices behind me telling me to hurry up, i couldn't hear a thing.
i was snapped out of my trance when i seen her body move and swiftly went towards the door, i rushed over before she could make an exit. i swallowed the huge lump that was beginning to form in my throat. i grabbed her wrist, hoping i was convincing enough for her to come with me.
"lead the way." she said. i turned my back to her and started walking, i could hear her walking behind me. i was past my "friends" and gave them a simple head nod, letting them know that it was go time. i settled on the farthest room, i closed and locked the door. i could feel my palms beginning to sweat as i sat on the bed.
i kissed her, i hit her, i ripped her clothes off. i could feel all the shit i took and drank prior to this moment begin to buzz in me. i didn't stop after her soft cries could be heard ringing in my ears. i did the deed, i raped her.
•••
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Imani
"hey, you've reached Aug, leave ya message after the beep" he let out a deep chuckle, "well yeah, you know what to do." there was a beeping sound indicating my message is starting.
"August, i've been calling and texting non stop, are you okay? your daughter wants to see you, and i wouldn't lie and say i didn't miss you. so please call me back when you get this." i ended the call and let out a frustrated sigh.
"mommy, where's daddy?" i heard my 3 year old call behind me.
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"uh baby i don't know he's probably busy but we could do something else." i said with a half smile. "we could watch frozen 2?"
"yes yes!" she jumped up and ran towards the stairs. i walked closely behind her just to make sure she doesn't fall. once we got to my room i got my fire stick to put on frozen 2.
••• throughout the movie i've been checking my phone non stop hoping to get a text back from August.
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i turned my phone completely off and sulked down into my bed. i looked over at a sleeping Kamiyah before going to sleep myself.
August
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i sat in my room alone and in the dark smoking a blunt.
"Girl i think it's best for me to say this, i ain't no good."
i sang lowly while i stared blankly at the wall.
"I ain't tryna ruin ya life, if anything i'm just tryna make it right."
i nodded my head to my voice as i sang my lyrics, trying my hardest to not let the tears slip from my eyes. the more i'm around Imani the more flashbacks i get from that night. usually you would think it to be the other way around but i can't seem to catch a break. my emotion quickly changed from sad to angry.
my leg shook and i put my head back trying to calm my nerves, i then felt that forever familiar feeling as goose bumps ran up and down my body. i closed my eyes as my jaw began to clench. i was fucking stupid and a coward, i wanna take it all back. but if i did, i won't have my baby girl right now. i just can't deal with this guilt anymore, i have to make my peace.
"But i'm just sayin you deserve better, i'm sayin, you deserve better."
•••
yes, short i know but i've been busy the past couple of days and i rushed this in, i'm trying to be better for y'all i promise 😩 but did y'all fw with the flashback though? i might shake things up a bit 😏 buttttt how'd you'd guys like it? any feedback? make sure you vote! any thoughts? make sure you comment! find out what happens next in the next story❤️ and can y'all actually comment and vote, i know some of y'all of y'all vote and thank you but can everybody vote and comment, if y'all do that it'll give me inspiration and help me write more so🤷🏽♀️
