The Hidden Alter

11/4 Rachel

"Rachel I'm afraid we have some bad news... the test results have come back and you have dissociative identity disorder,".

Those words would change my life forever. The day I found out I have D.I.D is one I would never forget. I started off the day like any other, put on a disc from one of the beatles albums and head banged while brushing my teeth and belting the lyrics out with my hairbrush, acting like it was a microphone. My old life was just like that. When i got down stairs my sister pulled me to the side of our run down suburban home, I could hear my parents hurling  curses and insults at each other.

"Rachel I'm taking you to the doctors today, about your mood swings." My sister, Anya, told me. I nodded my head and stayed quite. Just then I heard loud footsteps pounding towards us. My sister went to push me away but it was to late my mom, Karen, had saw us.

"What are you two whispering about!" she mumbled in a drunken tone "Are you talking about me! Huh! DOES EVERYONE IN THIS HOUSE TALK SHIT ABOUT ME! Well I'm sorry if I don't satisfy you!" she stumbled away and filled up a glass of wine and turned around. Just as she was approaching the stairs the wine glass fell from her hand and she sprinted to the bathroom. Suddenly gagging noises erupted from the bathroom as she puked her guts out on to the floor. Anya cringed as my face turned from calm and collected to panicky and bewildered. I began to shake and slid to the floor crying.

Anya bent down to me and cradled me as I cried.

"Hey its ok she gone, your fine she wont hurt you."

"Are you sure?"

"Certain."

I quickly ate breakfast and through my clothes on as Anya got the car ready without dad hearing over the blaring of the football playing on the TV. I rushed down stairs and slipped my converse on and tied the fraying laces. I soared into the passenger seat and pulled out my copy of Here's to you Rachel Robinson. I chuckled at seeing my name on the cover. Anya hopped into the car and we sped off to the doctors office. I leaned my head against the car window imaging what I would do once Anya left for college.

"Hey Rachel you up were almost there?"

"Yep... Hey Anya what am i gon-"

"Were here," she sighed.

We hopped out of the car and walked into the doctors office. We filled out the paper work and sat in the waiting room waiting to be called. A few minuets later a man dressed in a large white coat stepped out.

"Rachel Arnold?"

I hopped up and grabbed Anya's hand pulling her with me. When we got into the room it was decorated with cabinets and counters with jars of cotton swabs and popsicle sticks. The walls were painted with birds and rabbits jumping in circles around me. I leaped onto the bed with wax paper covering it. My hand extended and I pointed at the birds and rabbits on the walls and started giggling.

"Look Anya! They're playing!" I squealed with excitement.

"Shh, calm down Rachel the doctor will be coming in soon." She began stroking my hair as we waited for the doctor.

When the doctor walked in he asked me a series of questions.

"How old are you?"

"13,"

"How tall are you?"

"5'4"

"And why did you come in today?"

"She's been having severe mood swings and memory loss!" Anya chipped in. The doctor nodded his head and sat down.

"Well start running some tests and examining her in a few minutes please wait here," .

After sitting in the room for a few minuets another man walked in, he looked kinder than the doctor and I immediately took a liking to him. He sat down in the small elementary sized seat in front of then bed and began to ask me a series of questions about my memory and if i feel deja vu often. After he had asked me all the questions he left the room and we were left to wait again.

"Hey Anya, what was that test for?" I questioned quietly.

"I don't know Rachel but they should be coming back soon to tell you!" she smiled showing off her blinding whites.

I tapped my finger against the uncomfortable leather bed while impatiently waiting for the doctor to come back.

When he did come back he had a grave look on his face, and then he said those words.

"Rachel I'm afraid we have some bad news... the test results have come back and you have Dissociative identity disorder,".

I was shocked, yet a bit confused. I had heard of D.I.D before but never thought I could get it.

"What does that mean?" Anya spoke up a worried look painted over her face.

"She has many different personality such as a childish one and a slightly traumatized one, but we don't know their names," he turned to me "You'll have to choose them,"

I was even more stunned. How could I have more than one personality? Was that even really possible? Or was he pulling a cruel joke on me.

He walked over to the counter and opened a drawer. I began to shake as he reached in and pulled out a nicely folded piece of paper. He turned and handed it to Anya.

"Here's a pamphlet on some things you might want to know to help you out if you have any questions please don't hesitate to call and ask,".

When we got back in the car the whole ride home was completely silent. When we got home I think Anya tried talk to me but I was so scared I just wanted to run up to my room and cry, and that's what I did, I cried for hours and hours.