Chapter 317
Elizabeth stays on the sofa waiting for Brian. She feels a little better that he is coming home. She has been worried sick all night wondering all kinds of things. Did he still want their relationship? Did the stress hit him so hard, that he just said fuck all this and move on? She knew things were not smooth lately, everything and one always seemed to be in their way. How much can two people deal with, Without one or both cracking? It just seemed that he was the one to crack. It hurt her deeply, to see this happen.
They have only been together two years and been through so much. It was a lot to take on. She feels that if it was others, they wouldn't have even lasted this long. She saw the honeymoon phase was over. Real-life stepped in, and when it did, it hit hard and fast. She knew things were not going to be easy, they had a lot going against them, She just didn't see it being this hard at times. He was pushing himself away more and more.
She knew the things, he said were true, about him tiptoeing around her, due to her past. She was working on it the best she could. Somethings take longer to heal if ever. You can't rush it. She also knew the trust issue hurt him, and she felt terrible about it. She knew with everything they went through she should trust him. Just sometimes, she couldn't help it. She just thinks maybe she should have kept that to herself. Not really sure how to act with that subject. She didn't want to hurt him.
As she thinks about it, it bothers her even more, that before they could talk about anything and now, they both felt like they had to tiptoe around the other. That's not what she wanted. She wanted them both to be honest with each other. To be able to talk about anything and get through it. Not jump down the other's throat when they didn't like things. They never did this before, she just hoped they both could get that back.
As she sits there on the sofa, she misses him terribly. The night was a big mess and lonely without him. She sat on the sofa not wanting to go into there big bed alone. She sees just how used to him she really is. How different things are, then they were with Ethan. She didn't care to share the bed with him or not. She liked it better when he wasn't in it. With Brian, it felt lonely and empty, like something was missing. She knew she had it bad this time, all these years of not loving anyone but her children. Then she met Brian and she fell hook line and sinker. Was this a good thing or not? It left her open to a lot of hurt, but at the same time open to a lot of great things, she never had before. Some of her best times have been with Brian, and even though now they are having troubles in the last two years, he was always there by her side. She would do the same. She wouldn't give up, if she could stay twenty years with a man she didn't love, she would work to make this relationship work with the man she did.
Elizabeth: 9:22 AM Are you close? I miss you and can't wait for you to be home. I hated last night.
Brian: 9:24 AM Yes, Babe, I am almost home. I feel the same. I don't know where to start. I have so many things to say, some I just don't know how to.
Elizabeth: 9:26 Don't worry about it, we have plenty of time to talk. I just want you home. Please don't do that anymore. I really don't like it when you walk out like that.
Brian: 9:28 I promise you, I will never do that again. Any of it. I feel terrible about it all. My mind was everywhere last night, and I took it out on you. I just hope I can make it up to you, make things better.
"Elizabeth: 9:30 I understand, its been crazy lately. I want us to talk like we use to. I also am really sorry for not trusting you as I should. When you said it wasn't your child I should have known it wasn't. There isn't anything to makeup, just let's start fresh. We both have done and said things we shouldn't. We just have to move past it.
Brian reads the texts and feels worse. She loves him and is willing to forget what an ass he was. Would she forget the rest? Or did he really mess up badly?
Brian: 9:33 It's fine, I understand why you didn't. I am sorry for a lot of things also. I know I should have been honest about Victoria instead of keeping it hidden. I guess I wanted to forget it ever happened. That I was that person, I use to be. I just went about it all wrong. I want to move past all this as well, I just know we need to be fully honest with each other, even if it hurts the other.
Elizabeth: 9:35 We all make mistakes. Let's just not make it bring us down. I don't want you to resent me for it. I hate you feeling that way towards me. I also want us to be honest with each other. We always have been, we need to keep it that way.
Brian" 9;38 I don't resent you, I am so sorry. I am home, I will be right in.
Brian goes to the driveway and parks the car, in one way, excited and happy to be home, and in another worried about what is to come. So many things can happen. She forgives him for what he said, wants to move on. What will she say to the rest? He knew she cared about him more than anyone ever. He could just lose it all.
His heart is pounding out of his chest, taking a look at the home, they both created together. He didn't want to lose it.
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The Fanasty Affair Continues.
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