The Fall of the Keepers

Chapter 26 Who We are Underneath

"You bothered to come back?"
Solomon said as I re-entered the room.

I huffed and bit down on my tongue, sitting again by my sister's side. She was still unconscious, her breathing even and steady, almost in rhythm with the noisy hospital equipment's beeping.

"You promised me she wouldn't get hurt."
My brother reminded me.

"I know. I failed her."
I murmured without looking up.

And I really will never forgive myself.

"You always start out with good intentions and then make a mess of things. When are you going to see that?"
He stated bluntly.

My eyes watered and I gently touched Esha's fingers.

"I see it, Solomon, I know no matter how hard I try I always end up putting the people I love in danger."

"Then why do you keep doing it?"

It was a fair question, one I truly didn't have an answer for. Solomon ran a hand through his hair in frustration.

"You know even though Jasmine has been lying to me, she's helped me see the truth. I love you sister, I always have and I always will but your self-destructive ways have only become more and more dangerous for our family. Something broke in you the day mom died and you haven't bothered to fix it. I kept justifying it in my head, thinking you just needed time, but it's been two years Astrid and you've only gotten worse. I know that you've been through hell and I couldn't be sorrier for your situation, but that doesn't make up for your actions and their consequences, however unintended."

"I'm not you Solomon, I couldn't just pick myself up and start over when she died. And it's not like things got better from there."

"Then you should have asked for help in healing yourself before you started bleeding all over people who didn't hurt you."

Tears slipped down my cheeks.

"You're right, I'm a freak show."
I sniffled.

"You'll admit it but you won't do anything about it."
He stated in exasperation.

"I'm trying!"
I protested.

"Trying how? By getting better at killing people?"

"Is that your real problem with me? You're judging me for my actions as a Keeper?"

"How many people have you murdered Astrid? Do you even know their names?"

"You think it doesn't haunt me? I see every one of their faces when I close my eyes. The images are burned so deep in my mind I will go to my grave with them."

"So why did you do it? Why did you let the Keepers turn you into a killer?"

"I was just trying to survive."
I whispered.

"So your life was worth all of theirs?"

"I don't know Solomon, probably not, but I can't change my choices. And you know what you probably would have done the same if you had been selected as a competitor."
I said in an accusatory tone.

"I told myself that, as I watched you murder the others but the truth is Astrid, I'd rather have died myself then have to hurt other people."

"Well, we can't all be as perfect as you are."
I said bitterly.

"You see that little girl?"
He pointed at Esha.

"She has undying faith in you, and where did it land her? In a hospital, fighting for her life, which will never be whole again. This wouldn't have happened if you weren't so good at making enemies."