I, Waluigi

Chapter 2: Brothers

The Casino W was a massive building and it was far and away the brightest and loudest thing in the city. I walked through the front entrance into the casino floor and was immediately tempted to open the bottle in my hand and gulp as much down as it took to silence the overbearing sound coming from the Skinner boxes that surrounded me. I looked around at the countless people huddled over the machines, and I wondered how many of them were in the same situation as Daisy. Every time I walk through this floor I think about how lucky I am that gambling isn't one of my many vices, but I also wonder if other people think the same thing about me when they see me drowning in drink, smoking two packs a day, or trying to sleep in my office.

I looked up at the manager's office, the large room attached to the ceiling overlooking the casino floor, and right in front of the window looking down at me was the man I was looking for. He had the same stupid grin on his face with a cigar stuck between his teeth. He played with his mustache with one hand as he looked at me. I stopped in the middle of the floor, and raised the bottle towards him, prompting him to waive me up. I continued to the back of the floor to a gilded elevator flanked by a pair of burly Goombas, one of whom made a discreet call on his radio, then a moment later turned to open the elevator for me.

While the rest of the casino floor and most of the hotel was specifically designed to appeal to as many people as possible, the elevator and managers office was tacky enough to make me sick every time I saw it. I closed my eyes and leaned back against the mirrored wall of the elevator, listening to the chiptune music on my way up. The ride must have only been 10 seconds, but it still felt entirely too long. The elevator dinged when it reached the manager's office and I walked out to find him standing in the same spot overlooking the casino floor.

"Wario." I said in greeting to his reflection in the window.

"Wally, my brother!" He said warmly as he turned around and approached me for a hug. There wasn't much I could do to stop him, so I opened my arms and let him in. He was nearly two heads shorter than me, pressing his ear awkwardly into my chest. I gave him a couple of compulsory pats on the back before he broke off his greeting.

"We aren't brothers, Wario."

"Nonsense!" He said with a laugh as he slapped my back. "We've known each other for so long, and after you found Mona for me, I consider you as close to a brother as I'll ever have."

"Remind me, how did it end up going with Mona?" I said with a bit of acid on my tongue. Wario continued grinning, but it wasn't nearly as jolly as a moment ago. He took a long drag from his cigar while staring daggers at me, then walked to the couches in the center of the room and took a seat.

"Why do you have to be so cynical all the time?" He waived a hand toward the seat across from him, inviting me to sit down.

"Cynicism keeps me alive." I said as I approached and took a seat.

"Until it doesn't..." Wario said. We sat in silence, staring at each other for a few moments before I sat the bottle down on the glass coffee table between us. Wario snapped his fingers as I did, and his personal bartender gathered two glasses with two rocks each and brought them to us. "I imagine you aren't here to talk about Mona." Wario said as the bartender took the bottle and professionally opened it then poured some into each glass. She set the bottle back down and Wario waived her away.

"I'm here about Daisy." My words made Wario chuckle and snort while shaking his head.

"I should have known." He said. "If cynicism isn't the death of you, that girl will be."

"Is that a threat?" I said with a raised eyebrow.

"It's advice, Wally." Wario said with open hands, the universal gesture for 'Calm the Fuck Down.' "How's Luigi's going to react when he finds out you've been hanging around his girl again?"