It's Hard Not to Hate - An Outlaw Love Story

Chapter Thirty-Nine.

"Baby. Let's goooo!" Jax hollered for the third time from his spot on the leather sofa. He was bouncing his knee hastily, growing more impatient by the minute. "Baby!"

"Hold on, Jax!" She shouted in response, peering up at the cracked door to make sure Jax hadn't ventured back. With slow-moving fingers she peeled open the letter, reading through it for the sixth time that afternoon.

Between the letter and the talk with her ex husband she was so incredibly confused; she couldn't decipher which of the emotions she was feeling was the most true. She had cried all of the tears she had the ability cry, screamed and yelled until her voice had given way, spat every possible obscenity she could manage to conjure up in her mind.

A dozen times she had almost ripped the check into hundreds of tiny pieces. She had all but decided she wasn't going to take his pity money, no matter how beneficial it may be under her current circumstances. The last thing she needed was a helping hand from the one person who had cut her down in the first place.

But yet, the check was still in one piece, staring at her, taunting her, reminding her of all she had left behind.

"For fucks sake, Taylor, we're gonna be late!" Jax's voice was getting closer, his footsteps echoing off the walls as he bounded toward her.

With haste she stuffed the letter and check back into the top drawer before stumbling backward and landing on the edge of the bed, busying herself with slipping into her black heels.

Moments later Jax appeared in the doorway, his arms crossed over his chest. He sucked in a sharp breath.

"Shit," he whispered before inching closer.

Taylor looked up, her fingers still working to buckle her shoes, and flashed him a smile that was partially hidden by the curtain of wavy brown hair that fell in front of her face.

She let her eyes roam over him, from his slicked-back blonde hair, to his light blue eyes that seemed to be growing darker with lust, to the hair that covered his strong jaw. He was so incredibly handsome, and just his presence almost made Taylor forget what had her so stressed out.

Taylor sat up as Jax sauntered over, maneuvering himself so he was standing between her legs, his hands caressing her leather-clad shoulders, his eyes boring into hers.

"Fuck, darlin, you look amazing," he said, his voice low and gruff. "How have I never seen this dress before?"

Jax's hands fell to her thighs, pushing up the dark green material so his rough hands could graze her bare skin. She looked up at him, smirking, and Jax leaned down to press his lips forcefully to hers.

Her body responded quickly, thankful for the distraction, thankful that Jax himself was too distracted to probe for the reason behind her sluggishness.

She would tell him. She needed to tell him. But she needed more time to process it herself before divulging it to him and bearing the brunt of the inevitable blow up that would follow.

Their kiss deepened, Jax's hands roamed her body wildly as he pressed himself against her.

"Jax," she murmured against his lips, pulling away slightly.

"Hmm?" he responded, gently pulling her bottom lip between his teeth.

"You just said we're gonna be late for whatever it is you have planned."

"I don't care about that anymore." His lips trailed down her jaw. "Let's just stay home instead."

Taylor chuckled before placing her hands against his strong chest, pushing him back and breaking the contact.

"You promised me a birthday surprise, Jackson. I'm holding you to that. I didn't get all dressed up for nothing!" Jax smirked and nodded, extending his hands to her and pulling her to her feet and into his arms.

"You're right. We'll finish this later." Grabbing her face in his hands he kissed her once more before leading her through the house and out into the driveway. "Let's take your car. That dress is already short enough and if you were straddling my bike it would show more of you off than I'm willing to share."

With a smirk Taylor started toward the passenger door. "Yeah, it probably wouldn't be a good idea, especially since I'm not wearing underwear." She ducked into the car with a giggle, thoroughly enjoying teasing him. Her playful side had stayed hidden for too long, with her health and with the revelations about Jax and the club things had been too serious. Adding that to all of her obligations, including newfound motherhood, Taylor sometimes forgot she was still young; she had been forced to grow up fast, her twenties had been anything but typical.

Jax collapsed behind the wheel, and her giggling continued when she noticed Jax adjusting himself in his jeans. "You're gonna be the death of me, woman," he sighed, starting the car and racing off into the night.

The drive was mostly silent, Taylor could feel her mind slipping back to earlier. She gnawed on her lip, trying to keep the nerves at bay, trying to will the thoughts and worries away for another time.

Jax watched her, blissfully unaware of what was eating at her. Her profile lit up under the glow of the passing street lamps, and his heart swelled at the sight of his beautiful woman. He couldn't get enough of her—mind, body, or soul—and he couldn't imagine ever tiring of loving such a wonderful human being.

Taylor jumped a little when Jax took her hand in his, startling her from her trance.

"Do you have any idea how much I love you, pretty girl?" Jax asked as he gave her hand a squeeze, his lips unable to suppress the giant smile that followed. "I am the luckiest man alive knowing I get to spend my life with you."

Taylor brought his knuckles to her lips and kissed them softly, a deep red settling on her cheeks as his words dove deep into her heart.

This man, this beautiful, handsome man with a rugged exterior and an abnormal life made her feel things she had only ever dreamt about, things she had begun to believe were unreal.

The car rolled to a stop and Taylor looked up to see they were parked in front of the most popular steakhouse in Charming. Jax slipped out of his holster and his kutte, tucking a pistol in the waistband of his jeans, before jogging to the passenger side and opening the door for Taylor.

Seeing him out of his kutte was a rarity, especially in public, and Taylor had grown used to the faded leather vest that hugged his muscles. But with one less barrier between her eyes and his solid body she couldn't help but squirm as she gazed at the solid black shirt that clung to Jax in all the right places.

"You know, Jax, I think this is kind of our first official date," Taylor exclaimed, interlacing her fingers with his as they shuffled towards the door. "You know, since last time you got shot on the way to pick me up."

That felt like so long ago, for both of them, even though it had only been a four months.

"You're about to get the whole Jax Teller experience now, baby. There's no going back after this."

"I wouldn't dream of it," she said with a kiss on the cheek. "Nothing could ever make me."